Self-diagnosing in my mid 30s

Hi

I'm new to the community - I've been working with children and young adults on the spectrum now for about 8 years and year on year I feel like I've realised that I'm probably on the spectrum myself amd have been masking for as long as I can remember. I've recently had a bit of an emotional breakdown at work and I can't bring myself to go back in. I've tried to articulate what's been going on to my employer, but when I'm upset and anxious I don't think I do a very good job of it! It's taken all my energy to book an appointment with my GP in relation to my anxiety but I'm terrified of trying to explain to them how I'm feeling too. I had a similar issue about 10 years ago where everything just got to be too much. I couldn't leave the house, couldn't bring myself to do my own basic care. Eventually I saw my GP at the time who was totally dismissive of everything I said and told me I 'just need to get out the house, get a hobby and see some friends'. Which is the polar opposite of what my brain and body want to do even on a good day. That's stuck with me ever since when I've wanted to reach out for support because I tell myself that everyone will just dismiss me again. 

I just wondered what other people's experiences have been like when trying to get support. In regards to seeking an autism diagnosis or support with anxiety or depression. Should I be preparing what I need to tell my GP so I don't get flustered and forget everything? 

I think I just want to know I'm not alone in being totally terrified of the world right now! I'd love to hear people's pro-active and positive stories about reaching out to someone. :) 

Parents
  • Good morning from America, Emma90!

    I also work with people with disabilities as well, so I can understand how stressful that can get. I help people with disabilities find employment. I’ve been diagnosed with ASD, ADHD, general anxiety, and depression. Not the greatest mix for a job like this, but I’m managing as of now.

    When it comes to visiting your GP I say Olivia Mod nailed it with writing notes ahead of time and possibly bringing a chaperone. Also consider that awareness and research into Autism has changed significantly in the last ten years, so there’s a good chance that you will have a better experience with your upcoming appointment.

    I'd love to hear people's pro-active and positive stories about reaching out to someone.

    I was primarily the biggest advocate for myself to get a diagnosis in ASD. There was a therapist who helped me get in touch with a psychiatrist, but even she wasn’t so sure about whether I fit the diagnosis. Once I got the diagnosis my family and friends around me began to recognize the signs and understood me a little better. I was also able to find an art therapist that specialized in Autism soon afterwards, so that was another positive that came out of it.

  • Hi Prof!

    Super stressful job, but so rewarding. The highs are high and the lows are lows for sure. I'm glad you're finding a way to make things work for you right now!

    Thanks for sharing your story <3

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