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Self-diagnosing in my mid 30s

emma90

Hi

I'm new to the community - I've been working with children and young adults on the spectrum now for about 8 years and year on year I feel like I've realised that I'm probably on the spectrum myself amd have been masking for as long as I can remember. I've recently had a bit of an emotional breakdown at work and I can't bring myself to go back in. I've tried to articulate what's been going on to my employer, but when I'm upset and anxious I don't think I do a very good job of it! It's taken all my energy to book an appointment with my GP in relation to my anxiety but I'm terrified of trying to explain to them how I'm feeling too. I had a similar issue about 10 years ago where everything just got to be too much. I couldn't leave the house, couldn't bring myself to do my own basic care. Eventually I saw my GP at the time who was totally dismissive of everything I said and told me I 'just need to get out the house, get a hobby and see some friends'. Which is the polar opposite of what my brain and body want to do even on a good day. That's stuck with me ever since when I've wanted to reach out for support because I tell myself that everyone will just dismiss me again. 

I just wondered what other people's experiences have been like when trying to get support. In regards to seeking an autism diagnosis or support with anxiety or depression. Should I be preparing what I need to tell my GP so I don't get flustered and forget everything? 

I think I just want to know I'm not alone in being totally terrified of the world right now! I'd love to hear people's pro-active and positive stories about reaching out to someone. :) 

Parents

  • I think everyone else here has pretty much covered it for Dr advice with bringing notes, someone else if you need it.

    I myself was in a similar situation this year, I got in such a state I quit my job (well they asked to have a chat, and I panic quit instead as the exhaustion and anxiety were too much). 

    I went private for the diagnosis, as I couldn't bring myself to talk to the GP (though I did ask them for sleeping pills, while talking to the wall to avoid eye contact and wringing my hands furiously -I can see the signs now!).  Only after did I find out about autism and decided I needed to sort myself out. I'm due my report next week. 

    If you are in England, I think you have Right to choose and the GP might just refer you to a specialist. If you are in another part of the UK, it's a lot harder, my region don't have any adult services at all. I don't know about other countries!

    Wishing you luck, peace and quiet, and getting the answers you need.

  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    Did they give you sleeping pills?

    I begged them for some 4 years ago as I couldn't sleep. They refused and told me to look at a website. I said I just wanted to be able to sleep for a couple of nights.

    NHS policy seems to be to not prescribe them as they think they do more harm than good.

    I haven't slept well for 40 years.

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  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    Did they give you sleeping pills?

    I begged them for some 4 years ago as I couldn't sleep. They refused and told me to look at a website. I said I just wanted to be able to sleep for a couple of nights.

    NHS policy seems to be to not prescribe them as they think they do more harm than good.

    I haven't slept well for 40 years.

Children
  • in reply to Stuart333

    I did, I think the fact I'd quit my job due to the stress might have helped sway it, but just 2 weeks worth as he said they can be addictive and was told either take them for the 2 weeks to try reset my system or just one when I needed it.

    I did the latter, just using one when the lack of sleep is getting too much (I still have nearly half as I was then a bit fearful to use them). They aren't a miracle, but can get me more like 6+ hours rather than 3-4 I've been getting all year. They helped when we were on holiday too, as I don't normally sleep at all before going away, and then can't sleep at all or well in different places. 

    I got sleep loops recently and they have really helped, as now I don't get woken up by my husband breathing in the night (I'm a light sleeper too due to sensitive hearing). Still only 3-4 hours at a time though.