Following diagnosis did you become more emotional?

Stuart333 said:

I think this too because I don't do or watch some of the stuff other people do. But besides TV programs and some films I can have an interesting conversation about almost anything with people. More than others can, from years off looking up anything I don't understand. 

I'm the same, but when I start talking about something interesting (which it genuinely is to me), I have to start scanning the room to look for eyes that are glazing over. A lot of people just aren't into "interesting", but sometimes I find that out too late.

Edit: "sometimes"? Ha! Read: "most of the time".

I understand that. I just need to find those like minded people but trust my that’s hard to come by, especially with my age group  see all gen z are just into social media, reality shows etc and I’m like the complete opposite of that. Plus not many people seem to want to talk these days as you say. Maybe limbic can help I don’t know haha

First, I felt relieved after receiving my Autism Diagnosis but then as the days passed by, I also felt sadness and guilt for the way that I had interacted with people in the past.

I have disclosed my Autism Diagnosis to my relatives but had mixed reactions.

It is hard but I would rather be myself than having to mask.

Elfilis said:

Wow I’m so boring haha

Don't think this, it's a trap.

I think this too because I don't do or watch some of the stuff other people do. But besides TV programs and some films I can have an interesting conversation about almost anything with people. More than others can, from years off looking up anything I don't understand. 

I also make interesting observations that other people miss.

There will be things you do or know that are interesting to other people. You just need the confidence to let it out.

Like I said, different, not boring. 

The problem is finding opportunities to talk.

I am working along those lines (hopeful that approach might be part of the rope ladder out of Autistic burnout).

Autismman said:

a kinder part of me broke out and gave the functioning me the rest I needed

Aww well first of all Happy Birthday! You deserve to treat yourself every now and then but as you say be careful with alcohol. 

I must admit I don’t drink. I have tried it but I just couldn’t get into it, I kept getting thirsty so I stick with my soft drinks. Wow I’m so boring haha

make a wish!

Happy birthday Stuart333

I think I have (c)PTSD so you have my sympathies.

The bad bit is wine helps while you drink it, but later makes you less stable. I've had a bottle and a half as it's my birthday. I've been off wine all year.

Been out for a meal on my own. Local place where I know the people.

Find some good thoughts/memories and try to think them. Its not easy though.

Thank you for those kind words. Been diagnosed with CPTSD and awaiting the general assessment now but recon I have EUPD. Well suppose it could be worse and I’d need mood stability tablets which I was dreading due to my phobia of needles!! I do feel I could have BDD or something but guess I leave that to the pros. 

Remember autism is just a way of thinking, plus some social and emotional issues. You can adapt to the social issues and learn some emotional stuff.

The trauma stuff is treatable. This is where I went wrong. You can make progress. Don't give up for years like I did. Times are different now. 

Maybe you are better, not just different. 

In Japan they have the saying the nail that sticks up gets hammered down. Be happy to stand up.

Find your niche.

I am considering contacting my GP to see what they suggest but I was discharged from secondary mental health services right after my diagnosis, I still feel like I needed someone to talk to or even help navigating what that diagnosis meant but it was sudden to get me out. I've been in and out of that service since I was 12. Maybe it's because it's routine for me? That could also be an aspect. Thank you for responding though and I agree it's nice to connect with people who get it, but I just want to be able to get on with my life and it's sad because I know with the right help I could.

Sorry to hear you are struggling so much, there certainly is a lack of community support for those with autism. This forum has been a place for me to express how I feel because as they say it’s good to write your problems down. At least here you can relate to others who are also autistic and perhaps going through similar issues. Sometimes it’s good to know you are not alone. In terms of professional support your doctor or gp may be the best option there. 

Unmasking has been difficult and wanting to stay unmasked is even harder because you find out pretty quick you can't just re-mask.

I've felt anger and grief at my life and what could've been. I'm trying to support myself and navigate life but there's no local support at all and the things I think will help aren't accessible for me or don't exist anymore. It's been really defeating.

I didn’t feel much after my diagnosis, a slight shock but that shock didn’t register highly on any emotional scale, it raised more questions than answers as I am sure many can relate. It also helped to tick a few boxes but up until the moment of diagnosis I’d only felt I was “perhaps” autistic. A lot of people self identify but this wouldn’t have ever been enough for me, I need concrete evidence and I am still looking for it even with a positive result from the assessment. It sounds shallow and naive but I thought I’d think differently if I was on the spectrum, I thought I’d surely know if I was autistic. The notion only came about when I had some unusual and out of the routine behaviour, it came out in a way that I can only describe as another me dying to be let out, a kinder part of me broke out and gave the functioning me the rest I needed. Although I was struggling with high anxiety and insomnia something was telling me something wasn’t right. I let rip all I had been struggling with to my work, and went sick for 6 weeks, was given medication and signed off by the doctors before being referred for an assessment for autism. 

Must admit knowing I have autism has become more upsetting for me knowing I’m different and I won’t recover from my other issues. Unable to forgive and do what I like etc because of past traumas and what people have said. Like why am I always a target and why is everything I do always wrong?? Sorry for the rant 

Hello, I do attend therapy and my therapist is neurodivergent herself. Unfortunately I was ill and couldn’t attend for 2 weeks and she is on holiday at the moment for 2 weeks. That’s probably why I have noticed a drop. 

Thank you for your response 

Stuart333 said:

You learn to mask and bulldoze  through things and ignore the stress.

That's a good way of putting it. Ignoring the stress was something that I picked up in childhood, I guess. I've been doing it all my life. I couldn't even recognise that I was feeling stressed until recently. Now I'm starting from scratch and finding out what things cause me stress and how I can deal with them.

I was always supposed to stop crying when a child so I can't do it for more than a few seconds. Sometimes tears still come but I just feel tightness in my chest and breathing is more difficult.

I can only cry at all when on my own. I can't let go if someone else is around.

Crying cab also soothe you as it releases certain chemicals so I am not sure if this is why I am doing it. Would be a strange way of stimming.