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Following diagnosis did you become more emotional?

Stuart333

Just wondering. Everyone's circumstances are different and the impact depends on past history.

I had my emotions battened down pretty tight. I went to a psychologist to find out why. It led to getting assessed and finding other things. The emotions were squashed as a way to cope, due to trauma and and due to childhood. You learn to mask and bulldoze  through things and ignore the stress.

I now am trying to feel more, but it mostly seems to involve trying to avoid crying. I think this is due to the other issues, not the autism itself. I think I am just being kinder to myself so have permission to notice them.

I think the diagnosis is more related to the feeling of disconnection, i.e. feeling a bit lost, which passed quite quickly. I think the rest is all the baggage.

  • in reply to Take5

    Hi Take5, have you thought about therapy? It's not for everyone of course but I didn't think it was for me either, until I thought I would give it a shot. I am awaiting diagnosis and thought it would be useful to discuss thoughts and feelings as they arose and it has been. It has helped me to make decisions and take actions, not through being told by my therapist that I ought to do things but through having someone to talk things through with and order my thoughts by attempting to put them in to words. My therapist is also autistic which I would recommend highly if you can find one, as it means that I don't have to bother with the sort of social stuff that makes me anxious like eye contact etc.

  • I have been exactly the same as you describe above. Assessment recently and diagnosis 3 plus weeks ago. It’s been a rollercoaster since but I’m having the odd good day now which is a positive. Lots to process and as you said internalising everything eventually has to come out, I would look at that as a positive even though it may not seem like it.

    i still haven’t told my wife yet as I’m sure she will use this against me so I’m struggling with that atm. I think having too many things to think about at once is very overwhelming so I’m just trying to work my way through it all one thing at a time.

    Hope you feel better soon 

  • I'm interested that you say that you try to avoid crying. I have found in recent years, beginning prior to my realisation that I am autistic, that tears have been far more easily triggered. I have an absolute mortifying dread of being seen to cry by anyone - even my wife. I think it probably does stem in part from an old fashioned "boys don't cry" mentality but also goes a lot deeper. If I ever feel tears coming around others I will fight them and force them to stop - often by trying to completely disengage with the thing that has brought them on. It's not healthy. I would like to be comfortable with crying in front of others in an appropriate situation but right now anything that gives me a strong emotion of any sort can make me tear up and I am forced into fighting that.