Stimming

I stim quite a bit, rocking and flapping hands which I call my happy hands, I also love to dance and music is my lifeline I can’t live without it,

That sounds like a sore one! I don't know how it works if you can shift stims easily, I imagine it would be different for everyone and how compulsive it is? 

My stimming is definitely unconscious... when im chilling in the evening after a busy day I will watch tv and pick at scabs on my scalp with no control I can never jus rest my hands. Sometimes I wil do it until my head is sore or worse bleeding. Then when I snap out of the "zone out" im left feeling frustrated with myself with scabs all over my top and where I have been sitting. I have Been doing it since I can remember. When I was a kid it use to be my eye lashes thinking I had sleep in my eyes then moved onto my arms and legs. Very stressful when I think about it and not sure what to do about it 

I do something like flappy hands when I'm a bit agitated or my thoughts are racing (which is most of the time). I raise both hands near my head and sort of clap my fingers against my palms (separately with each hand). It helps to calm me a little. I'm doing it way more than I used to, now that I don't associate it with being an insane weirdo.

Waving my spread fingers in front of my eyes also seems to bring my racing thoughts down a few notches. It's very hard to concentrate on anything when I have that much visual input to deal with. It momentarily blanks my mind and I can try to restart and focus on something else.

Love those instructions, if it’s exciting I am probably  flapping my hands next to my face! 

I’m not an expert, but I’m a fellow stimmer and it’s very important to me to be able to do what I do. 

Orangegnome said:

the thing is if you observe people enough you will see we all stim

True. I've noticed my daughter stimming openly recently. I'm not sure if she's conscious of what she's started doing, but she's copying my "excited about a nice dinner" stim**. It makes me smile every time she does it. If I were to mention it, she'd probably insist that she's not stimming, she's just clapping her hands to dry some hand cream ... or something. (I've learned to tread carefully.)

** Stim instructions: Click your fingers with your right hand and then almost simultaneously smack that hand with your left palm. If you time it right, it sounds like the click has an echo—tremendous fun!

Thank you, it feels validating to hear it really. I'm 41, so it's strange to go through so much of your life before you even recognise your probably autistic. I too just thought I had issues and 'habits'. I've been too scared to mention it to family so far, even though they are a very understanding bunch, as I've always pretended I didn't have problems (this was a conscious effort even as a child).

It’s okay to stim as much as you need to as long as you aren’t hurting yourself or anyone else. I have stims that I don’t mind doing in front of others and then when I’m alone I will rock and suck my thumb, embarrassing at my age! 
the thing is if you observe people enough you will see we all stim. If it makes you feel good then

This is all a bit new to me, but I'm going through an assessment currently after scoring highly on the online tests and relating a lot to people's accounts. At first I didn't think I stimmed, but then realised I always need to have a pen to play with in meetings (even if I don't bring paper), doodle abstract lines when waiting for replies on the phone to make me less nervous and other small things that aren't noticeable.

However having to talk about myself and my quirks during this assessment, because it's so emotionally difficult for me, suddenly I've found myself rocking on the phone when they are giving me updates and my leg bounces like crazy the more distressed I get. 

As I've normally repressed everything, suddenly finding I stim like this was a bit of a shock. Does this happen to others -you can control how you stim only if not overwhelmed?

Know that I know it, I regularly find my stimming unconsciously when I am in one-to-one situations with people - even just in regular conversation, which I often find very challenging.

At home, I usually stim by touching the silky clothes label - something I known that I have done since I was a toddler.   I don't think I stim consciously in this case.

At work, I usually have a small but  thick polythene bag conveniently located on my desk so that I can "look under it" for things I might need.  This I tend to do more consciously but not regularly.

Yes maybe it's not stimming. I'm been trying to go over all the traits I have and figure out what's ASD related and what's not. I go round in circles sometimes trying to figure everything out and it can be exhausting.

Yes I hum sometimes but I hadn’t really thought of it as a stim. 

At times I make little humming noises just out of the blue, I don't know why and I don't know if this is stimming. Can anyone else relate?

I do it unconsciously the vast majority of the time but if i start to feel overwhelmed i will consciously do it 

I’m going to order an adult stim toy. It’s called the ONO slider, they are not cheap but it will fit in your pocket and they look amazing.

I’m sorry about your panic attacks at the dentist, this has happened to me on a few occasions. 
I had an almighty one a few years ago but they were very kind and understanding but still quite an embarrassing experience. 

Although I’m a nurse I have had big panic attacks having dental treatment, it’s just so invasive and feels so out of control. The second time I had a wisdom tooth out at the hospital under local anaesthetic I cried so much and no one helped me, it made it a hundred times worse that no one cared. I’ve also had a problem having cervical smear tests but the nurse who carries those out knows how to help me stay calm by telling me funny stories. 

Roy said:

I suppose controlling it is all part of masking.

Yeah, I think so, too. I only had a few subtle stims (that I only now recognise) until I figured out I was Autistic. My mask was so fixed, that I didn't really stim much, even when I was alone—I just thought I was a bit fidgety and needed to stop. Now, I just let myself do whatever feels nice and stimmy and I'm stimming all the time ... but only when I'm alone. I'm still very self conscious of it, but I'm working a few low-key stims into my more public persona, like the opening and closing of my hands while I'm walking. When I'm on my own, I'll do that with my hands raised up near my head, though, as it feels more effective.

I don’t think I would have coped much better, I had a monumental meltdown at the dentists. The main thing is that you got through it, if you have it done again, you can ask for sedation, not many people have it done without it. My wife has seen big men covered in tattoos faint when she has put the cannula in, she could never work out how they had all the tattoos done.