Stimming

Hi I’d like to ask a question related to stimming. Is it something you feel you consciously or unconsciously  choose to do? I do find myself rocking or stimming with my hands without even thinking about it, but also will reach for my favourite cuddly toy as the material feels so nice to me, and that one is definitely consciously choosing to do it. I know that I have always stimmed a lot but sadly mask when with others as it makes me worry what people will assume about me. No one thinks it’s normal for a 50 year old woman to suck her thumb but it just feels so good. As someone who isn’t diagnosed but I score very highly in every test I’ve done, this is all new to me as I just thought it was how I was, but adding a lot of things together and researching shows I am definitely on the spectrum and my mind has been crying out for help for a long time. 

Parents
  • This is all a bit new to me, but I'm going through an assessment currently after scoring highly on the online tests and relating a lot to people's accounts. At first I didn't think I stimmed, but then realised I always need to have a pen to play with in meetings (even if I don't bring paper), doodle abstract lines when waiting for replies on the phone to make me less nervous and other small things that aren't noticeable.

    However having to talk about myself and my quirks during this assessment, because it's so emotionally difficult for me, suddenly I've found myself rocking on the phone when they are giving me updates and my leg bounces like crazy the more distressed I get. 

    As I've normally repressed everything, suddenly finding I stim like this was a bit of a shock. Does this happen to others -you can control how you stim only if not overwhelmed?

  • It’s okay to stim as much as you need to as long as you aren’t hurting yourself or anyone else. I have stims that I don’t mind doing in front of others and then when I’m alone I will rock and suck my thumb, embarrassing at my age! 
    the thing is if you observe people enough you will see we all stim. If it makes you feel good then smiling face with hearts

  • Thank you, it feels validating to hear it really. I'm 41, so it's strange to go through so much of your life before you even recognise your probably autistic. I too just thought I had issues and 'habits'. I've been too scared to mention it to family so far, even though they are a very understanding bunch, as I've always pretended I didn't have problems (this was a conscious effort even as a child).

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  • Thank you, it feels validating to hear it really. I'm 41, so it's strange to go through so much of your life before you even recognise your probably autistic. I too just thought I had issues and 'habits'. I've been too scared to mention it to family so far, even though they are a very understanding bunch, as I've always pretended I didn't have problems (this was a conscious effort even as a child).

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