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Stimming

Orangegnome

Hi I’d like to ask a question related to stimming. Is it something you feel you consciously or unconsciously  choose to do? I do find myself rocking or stimming with my hands without even thinking about it, but also will reach for my favourite cuddly toy as the material feels so nice to me, and that one is definitely consciously choosing to do it. I know that I have always stimmed a lot but sadly mask when with others as it makes me worry what people will assume about me. No one thinks it’s normal for a 50 year old woman to suck her thumb but it just feels so good. As someone who isn’t diagnosed but I score very highly in every test I’ve done, this is all new to me as I just thought it was how I was, but adding a lot of things together and researching shows I am definitely on the spectrum and my mind has been crying out for help for a long time. 

Parents

  • This is all a bit new to me, but I'm going through an assessment currently after scoring highly on the online tests and relating a lot to people's accounts. At first I didn't think I stimmed, but then realised I always need to have a pen to play with in meetings (even if I don't bring paper), doodle abstract lines when waiting for replies on the phone to make me less nervous and other small things that aren't noticeable.

    However having to talk about myself and my quirks during this assessment, because it's so emotionally difficult for me, suddenly I've found myself rocking on the phone when they are giving me updates and my leg bounces like crazy the more distressed I get. 

    As I've normally repressed everything, suddenly finding I stim like this was a bit of a shock. Does this happen to others -you can control how you stim only if not overwhelmed?

  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    It’s okay to stim as much as you need to as long as you aren’t hurting yourself or anyone else. I have stims that I don’t mind doing in front of others and then when I’m alone I will rock and suck my thumb, embarrassing at my age! 
    the thing is if you observe people enough you will see we all stim. If it makes you feel good then smiling face with hearts

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  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    It’s okay to stim as much as you need to as long as you aren’t hurting yourself or anyone else. I have stims that I don’t mind doing in front of others and then when I’m alone I will rock and suck my thumb, embarrassing at my age! 
    the thing is if you observe people enough you will see we all stim. If it makes you feel good then smiling face with hearts

Children
  • in reply to Orangegnome

    I do something like flappy hands when I'm a bit agitated or my thoughts are racing (which is most of the time). I raise both hands near my head and sort of clap my fingers against my palms (separately with each hand). It helps to calm me a little. I'm doing it way more than I used to, now that I don't associate it with being an insane weirdo. Wink

    Waving my spread fingers in front of my eyes also seems to bring my racing thoughts down a few notches. It's very hard to concentrate on anything when I have that much visual input to deal with. It momentarily blanks my mind and I can try to restart and focus on something else.

  • in reply to Damojo

    Love those instructions, if it’s exciting I am probably  flapping my hands next to my face! 

  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    I’m not an expert, but I’m a fellow stimmer and it’s very important to me to be able to do what I do. 

  • in reply to Orangegnome
    Orangegnome said:
    the thing is if you observe people enough you will see we all stim

    True. I've noticed my daughter stimming openly recently. I'm not sure if she's conscious of what she's started doing, but she's copying my "excited about a nice dinner" stim**. It makes me smile every time she does it. If I were to mention it, she'd probably insist that she's not stimming, she's just clapping her hands to dry some hand cream ... or something. (I've learned to tread carefully.)

    ** Stim instructions: Click your fingers with your right hand and then almost simultaneously smack that hand with your left palm. If you time it right, it sounds like the click has an echo—tremendous fun!

  • in reply to Orangegnome

    Thank you, it feels validating to hear it really. I'm 41, so it's strange to go through so much of your life before you even recognise your probably autistic. I too just thought I had issues and 'habits'. I've been too scared to mention it to family so far, even though they are a very understanding bunch, as I've always pretended I didn't have problems (this was a conscious effort even as a child).