So Tired

I'm a 44 year old autistic woman and I'm struggling more then ever at the moment.  I'm so angry with myself that at my age I cannot hold a conversation.  I have a job and went out for lunch the other day with 5 colleagues who I have met a few times, conversation was flowing between them and I just sat there with nothing to say.  I could tell they thought I should be contributing and now I'm just angry at myself for being this way.

Sorry for the rant, I just can't cope.