So Tired

I'm a 44 year old autistic woman and I'm struggling more then ever at the moment.  I'm so angry with myself that at my age I cannot hold a conversation.  I have a job and went out for lunch the other day with 5 colleagues who I have met a few times, conversation was flowing between them and I just sat there with nothing to say.  I could tell they thought I should be contributing and now I'm just angry at myself for being this way.

Sorry for the rant, I just can't cope.

Parents
  • Thank you for all the support it has really helped over this past day.  I think I got so upset as every time I enter a situation like that I always think to myself this time will be different and I might actually be able to converse and potentially make a friend.  But it never changes.  Does anyone else feel like that?

  • I'm new around here, so apologies for perhaps being overly keen and replying twice... but that's exactly what I think each time I face a social situation with work colleagues... "it will be different this time"... or "I learnt something from last time because of XYZ, so THAT won't happen again" - but of course it does - every single time. It's a tiring rollercoaster ride of emotions. Although I have one or two very dear friends who do understand me, I just don't seem able to make 'ordinary' friends / casual friends. I've spent a lifetime wanting to... but it just never seems to happen :( Again, I say that to let you know that you're not alone!

  • That's exactly it.  It's so exhausting to keep trying.  As overwhelmed & underwhelmed mentions below accepting it would be best thing to do.

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