Regression

Hi JT,

Yes I'm having exactly this problem at the moment, very similar to what Jax below wrote.

After my diagnosis 3 or 4 years ago (I'm 52) I was actually pleased and relieved because it explained a lifetime of problems with people and I thought it would stop me blaming myself. 

I followed my diagnosis with a huge amount of self analysis, going over my life and relationships to try and understand and analyse what went right and wrong and how to move forward in the light of the new situation. I soon decided to give myself permission to not go to many social events that I may have forced myself to previously. I also told several of my family and friends of my diagnosis, this didn't go as well as I'd thought.

I should also mention that I had also got more anxious after Covid, although I really enjoyed it at the start, I now see it did me damage through being isolated.

Anyway, here I am 3 or 4 years later and have found that I am having huge problems with extreme social anxiety and self consciousness to the point that I'm even a nervous wreck with family and friends. I can't do eye contact easily any more, I'm obsessed with my body language, as well as hugely analysing the other persons. The upshot of this is that I have lost my personality and connection with people in person as I can't fully concentrate on what we're saying while I am noticing all the other stuff. The problem is that I am so uncomfortable that when I do interact with people they are so obviously uncomfortable with me that this obviously makes it worse. 

I'm now doing lots of research on articles etc to work out how to get myself out of this situation as I'm desperate.

The bottom line is, and apologies for this long message, it pains me to say that I regret having my diagnosis. Despite my lifelong social issues, I was in a better place than I am now. 

Hi JT,

Yes I'm having exactly this problem at the moment, very similar to what Jax below wrote.

After my diagnosis 3 or 4 years ago (I'm 52) I was actually pleased and relieved because it explained a lifetime of problems with people and I thought it would stop me blaming myself. 

I followed my diagnosis with a huge amount of self analysis, going over my life and relationships to try and understand and analyse what went right and wrong and how to move forward in the light of the new situation. I soon decided to give myself permission to not go to many social events that I may have forced myself to previously. I also told several of my family and friends of my diagnosis, this didn't go as well as I'd thought.

I should also mention that I had also got more anxious after Covid, although I really enjoyed it at the start, I now see it did me damage through being isolated.

Anyway, here I am 3 or 4 years later and have found that I am having huge problems with extreme social anxiety and self consciousness to the point that I'm even a nervous wreck with family and friends. I can't do eye contact easily any more, I'm obsessed with my body language, as well as hugely analysing the other persons. The upshot of this is that I have lost my personality and connection with people in person as I can't fully concentrate on what we're saying while I am noticing all the other stuff. The problem is that I am so uncomfortable that when I do interact with people they are so obviously uncomfortable with me that this obviously makes it worse. 

I'm now doing lots of research on articles etc to work out how to get myself out of this situation as I'm desperate.

The bottom line is, and apologies for this long message, it pains me to say that I regret having my diagnosis. Despite my lifelong social issues, I was in a better place than I am now. 

Please know, dear John....you are not alone nor unusual for the place you now find yourself in.  Stick around here.  It is "shelled out" these days.....but people who know and understand  you inhabit these corridors....albeit in the shadows?!

Never apologise for a "long message" = those are normally the MOST genuine and true ones...in my experience. 

Things can, and do, get better.......albeit VERY eventually!  This is not the worst place to inhabit sir.

Yours,

Number.