Am I being too sensitive?

You're not stupid at all. It's ok to feel upset over it. What they are staying it's not ok. This has actually happened to me a lot, I've ended up in meltdowns a lot of the time upset over it with what they said going around my head on a loop. 

If you are also looking for advice on how to deal with it is realising that with some people they just don't fully realise what they are saying and often just pick stuff up off other people 'just because other people said it i'll say it to make convocation'. Lots of people make comments not only about autism which are not ok likes racism, sexism, sexualities. It's hard to think sometimes about something that effects you but maybe try to think of it if they was making a comment about other people: It's not ok at all and not what everyone says is true (like making autism seem as it is a bad thing to have). I believe the best thing to do, that can be helpful that when these conisations come up, is that you don't respond with anything back or if you feel brave question it. I know this may be hard to do but I often see it as not sticking up for myself but also other people because your not the only autistic person there is. I don't think there is nothing wrong with autistic people i've met, in fact I feel like they are sometimes the most caring and thoughtful people, something you could maybe have said in that situation is 'what's wrong if you was autistic?'. When people hear these questions it then makes them actually think about what they said., when a lot of the time people don't. Personally, after I started question people they started to stop and actually think about what they say more and not just say things. 

Hope that helps

I was always told I was too sensitive. To that I say "I'm not oversensitive, I am as sensitive as I am!".

Its their acceptance of me that's the issue

No, you are not being too sensitive or stupid.

What they did proves they have a lower emotional intelligence.

As they are both the same way they most likely make a good fit, but everyone else around them suffers because of their insensitivity and stupidity. This time you were the victim of it. Next time someone else maybe. 

The others telling you they did not mean it are acting either as "family rescuers" (taking the punches to keep the family together, so you basically have one half that enjoy the rid, the sacrifices the others are making), are afraid of conflicts, confrontational or are just as ignorant. 

You must have felt even more alone, unsupported when actually the rest minimize what happened, confusing you, your feelings, the whole experience of it. Could be they missed all the signs of how it was said and the joke and sneer, but then again they were not the victim here or then paying enough attention. This weakened you more when you should have had emotional support.  

But you know, a lot of times, people are cowards when it comes to confronting someone on their behavior, they don't want to cause a scene, but it is on them then - the first ones out start insensitive and so they have the ones starting this - and then  you got the others allowing it to happen by not voicing what they say, do is wrong. 

The ones supporting this is in the wrong as well. It's unfortunate that you happened to be surrounded by people who supported that, defending it, even. 

The truth is your sister and boyfriend looks down on autistic people and they have limited knowledge of it, despite her being your very own sister and should know more of autism then what you could maybe expect the boyfriend knowing (if he does not have the same background, experiences as her).  

In the end, the joke is on them.

You're neither over dramatic or stupid, I think what Pixiefox said is right though, none of us like our sense of identity being attacked, but that dosen't make thier total insensitivity right though. They may not have been aiming thier comments at you personally, but it's very hard not to take it personally. Try and focuss on the positive things you have and they don't, like manners, fellow feeling, sensitivity to how others are and empathy.

I think there’s not much more to say other than; I agree with the others. It’s not you, it’s them. I’m so sorry you have to put up with that! Christmas can be difficult on its own, behaviour like this doesn’t help and honestly? How can your parents say “they didn’t mean to upset you”? Who wouldn’t be upset about that?

Hi Allie.....you have been missed.....if not by the masses here, then rest assured, by me [hopefully in a non-creeepy uncle sense!]

In my opinion, you are neither being stupid nor over dramatic.  However.....the real question (I presume) is what you should do about it?

Again....in my opinion (as always)....I would do f*#k all...I would chose not to react.....I would reach out to my own folk....I would ask for reassurance that "their" behaviour is NOT OK.

So.....fwiw...I think "their" behaviour is typical....and shallow.....and not OK....but nor worthy of your reaction.  You are better than that.  You don't need to react, nor feel diminished......you are more solid.   You don't laugh at people in wheelchairs, you don't think nature is lame, you are doing your best.  F*#k them sister.  You are OK.  They are not?!

My spoons are diminished right now.....but know you are welcome here - as always - and for all folk like us.  Insta-ok is not us.....we are better and more solid.

I hope you are OK generally mate.  This is a hard time of year!

Yours,

Number.

Thank you so much

You are not stupid and I’m not surprised you feel upset. I would feel the same. Many people can have autistic traits but that doesn’t necessarily mean they are autistic. I hope things aren’t as bad for you this Christmas as in the past. 

Hi Ellie - I'm sorry this has happened to you, and I also think you're not being over sensitive, or.stupid.

I'm going to try to "take the sting out of this" though, so please bear with me for a moment. I have read about how neurotypical people's minds process things, and as I understand it, NT people have a very well defined sense of identity that they will strongly defend. So the person that claimed to see autistic traits in your sister and her boyfriend have attacked their sense of who they are, and they reacted strongly to that. Also, this person may be one of those people who goes around claiming that "we're all a bit autistic" which is annoying to autistic people too. Plus, the "double empathy" problem means that your sister and her boyfriend may not understand how this makes you feel - because they have no idea what it feels like to be autistic.

Having said that, although there may not have been any intention to upset you, it was still extremely rude and thoughtless. As Andy suggested, maybe when you have had some rest and feel stronger you could try to explain to your sister how it made you feel. Hopefully you can get some resolution to this.

I wish you well and hope you have a happy and peaceful Christmas.

You’re definitely not being overdramatic or stupid… your feelings are completely valid. It’s hurtful when people joke about autism,  especially when they know your diagnosis, and dismissing your feelings with “they didn’t mean it” only makes it worse. My family sometimes say “oh it’s the ‘tism” when they are trying to be funny about me. It really upsets me. 
When you feel up to it, you should tell your sister and her boyfriend how their comments made you feel, and that they are laughing at you and not with you, because it’s not funny to joke about autism. It’s ableism, and undermines your diagnosis. 

Make sure you take care of yourself, you deserve to feel respected.

Thank you. 

No, I don’t think you’re being over sensitive at all. They are being very insensitive.