Overthinking, making decisions, worry, death

Dream said:

when I was a child it was so scary and still is but I need help for this.

I think your best approach (Since this is rooted in childhood trauma) is to work with a therapist who is experienced in your neurodiverse conditions.

It is likely to cost a few hundred quid for a few sessions but they should be able to formulate a strategy for you to continue on your own or with the NHS if you are lucky.

I pay £50/hour for my therapist and have video calls on my computer for these and I would expect it takes a few sessions to give them time to get a good understanding of your issues and abilities to cope with techniques then they can draw up a plan for you.

It would be best to tell them up front if you are limited in budget if this is the case and tell them what you want to get out of it (note you don't get "cured" but rather learn to understand and cope better in general.

Of course I'm just some random person off the internet so don't take this as professional advice - speaking to your GP would be a sensible first thing to do and you could mention this as a talking point if you like.

Good luck.

Someone in my family is getting the results of some scans today. It's happening again to me, this is what I always do even when everyone is ok and I have nothing to worry about. If I can't contact someone by phone I immediately think they have collapsed, have died in their sleep, or something else equally as bad. If someone is driving or going somewhere and they have not contacted me when I think they should have to say they have arrived I immediately think they have had a crash, been involved in a terrorist attack or something else just as bad. I also imagine having to say goodbye to people I love who are on their deathbeds, I can see it all, I can hear everything that would be said. It's like torture. This has happened all my life, when I was a child it was so scary and still is but I need help for this. I'm so confused if it's mental health, autism or just who I am. NHS talking therapies won't take me due to schizoaffective Disorder and my clinic are useless. Any advice would be gratefully appreciated 

A mix of normal anxiety about a big life change and your mental health symptoms. It's common to worry about such a big move, but the intensity and range of worries could be linked to your schizoaffective disorder.
It might help to talk to a mental health professional about your specific worries to get more clarity, especially as you're awaiting an autism assessment.

 Dream  I will echo what Hergé  and Martin  say in their replies. I remember my younger brother and my dad telling me: "not to over-analyse everything, when I was a child. Making a decision on everything is hard. Not only do I take in way to much information, regarding said decision, but I'm worried once the decision is made, its the wrong one, so then I second-guess. It's torturous. I am 52 and mortgage free. I've just been made redundant, but I'm OK for money for a few months. My worry is, when my parents die, I will be cut adrift in life, as I don't make any meaningful emotional  onnections with anyone. I worry I will be alone until I die and that terrifies me. 

As for house buying, thats for another thread. Suffice it to sathat I've done it twice in the space of a year, and it nearly finished me, lol.

It is very similar to the huff house but on a smaller scale, it's on an adults only site, they call it a site but it's like a little estate in the countryside were we all have our own drive, gardens etc. The square foot of the new home is 100 square foot bigger than my detached 3 bed house now. I will also gain an en suite and a utility room. I can also have a Juliette balcony off the lounge with a little deck space. I can pick the kitchen, tiles, even curtains, tables, literally everything. I've wanted to do this for about 5 years but now this opportunity has come up in the perfect area and perfect price. It seems too good to be true but I have definitely done my research, that is what I'm know for. I look at every little detail so I'm confident it's as good as it sounds. I need to think of the positives like you said some things are out of our control. Thank you everyone for replying it really helps to talk, it does calm me down (for the time being anyway)

It is stressful, but I would love the chance to design and build my own house, have you thought of buying a kit house, like the Huff house, they're designed and built to your specifications, everything is built in in the factory and it all just slots together when brought by lorry to the site.

What if's are terrible, the way I've dealt with mine are reality checking, asking myself how likely something is to happen right up to asking myself what I'd do if the sky fell on my head. Listen to your gut, it probably knows better than your head.

People you don't like could move in next door to you now, I think theres always a bt of trepidation when new people move in next door, across the road and next door but one.

I used to feel like you do about death, I found learning about the processes of death helped me not to fear it as much, I fear being in pain and the indignity of long term illness, but take comfort in the idea that if theres nothing there won't be any me to care, if there is something then I'll wake up dead in the afterlife and take things from there.

I think many of us are plagued with over thinking, the dreaded "what if" scenarios.

Life happens and we have to try and make allowances I'd don't quite go to plan no matter how stressful. I plan constantly with contingencies for all sorts and still the unexpected can catch me out.

The dying alone bit bothers me and it's something I'm struggling to get past. I've had this discussion with my wife and I've come to the conclusion that I'll go first. Whether I do or not is a problem for hopefully much later.

Overthinking, finding decisions difficult, being hyper-anxious and catastrophising are all quite common adjuncts of being autistic. Studies have shown that 90% of diagnosed autistics experience debilitating levels of anxiety.