Getting rejected after Interviews

So recently I had an interview (My 3rd one) - and the same thing happened in the last interview where I just completely freeze up, Even If i fully comprehend the question and understand how I need to answer it I just lock up and I cannot think in any way, shape or form and of course I start getting uncomfortable and it gets to a point where I've lost it and I feel like im wasting my own time and interviewers time. Every time I just feel defeated and can't tell whether my disability is holding me back or whether I should be requesting adjustments to allow me to simply be myself and show the company I am suitable for the role

Now I'm awaiting feedback as the company have gladly offered to provide it and once I receive it I may ask the company if there would be any adjustments they would be willing to make in the future or possibly reconsider and allow me to show my abilities or communicate my answers differently so that I would be comfortable. 

Im 50/50 about disclosing my Autism as some close people say yes, some say no depending on the circumstances but I feel like the format of the interview just isn't a fit way to make myself comfortable to be able to provide the interviewers with answers that they are looking for. 

I did plenty of research into the role and the company and they asked all the questions that I was expecting apart from one although I feel as they threw that one in as a test to see if anyone could actually answer it. I memorised all my answers in the format that was recommended and felt like I tried my best in the style that is often expected

What adjustments could I ask for that would benefit myself that would allow myself to show my abilities and allow me to show the interviewers in a different way and  has anyone requested adjustments before and how it allowed them to feel more comfortable

  • I have definitely struggled in every interview I've done 

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  • its nothing to do with Autism, maybe its to do with types of Autism, i have a lot of empathy for animals, i don't take pride in hurting people by being blunt, you seem to embrace it and be proud of it,  I'm just standing up to a bully which you are

  • because you are blunt means you have no empathy,  did you torture small animals when you were a child?  

    My lack of perceived empathy is caused by my disability. ie Autism.

    To suggest I tortured animals reflects more on you than you realise.

    You are becoming abusive and I'm cutting off further discussion with you now.

  • i did see what you did there ,  because you are blunt means you have no empathy,  [content removed by Moderator due to breaches of the online community rules and guidelines]

  • your a neuro diverse bully

    What?

    How do you reach this conclusion?

    I tell the facts as I see them - bluntly - this is not bullying.

    https://www.dictionary.com/browse/bullying

    the act of harassing, intimidating, or abusing others

    You may not like what I have to say but that is fine - I do not believe I reach the minimum criteria to qualify for your attempts to harrass me.

    So please do not attempt to bully me (you see what I did there?)

  • I have read your profile "I also can be a bit blunt at times but that is my preferred form of communication." [content removed by Moderator due to breaches of the online community rules and guidelines]

  • its nothing to brag about being an hiring manager, you should be ashamed of yourself!

    I didn't choose the role - it was always just an aspect of the jobs I was doing at the time as I was often contracted in to deal with IT departents that were performing very badly, either through the staff having largely left already, poor previous management or a lack of appropriate staff for the roles.

    Why should I be ashamed of it? I gave the results I was hired for and the departments were left performing exceptionally well when I left

    As for changing the system - not a chance. As soon as you step out of line as a consultant then you get replaced. Hiring people who are not fit for the job would be a surefire way to have me back on the dole - I tried it twice with the same result.

    You should of been able to spot these talented people!

    I am able to spot those who cannot cope under pressure and this is something that is essential for some roles such as customer facing roles in many companies.

    Why on earth would I hire someone who freezes up (or worse) when faced with an angry customer for example? I need to see the talent of being able to cope with the pressure AND the technical stuff too.

    It it were for back end roles with no pressure (eg database admin) then fine but these roles are almost all already being replaced by AI now.

    I tell it how it is - changes like you are asking for will need the NTs to change their mindsets and hiring people who fail will never achieve this.

    The best we can possibly expect at this stage in the hiring market is for us to adapt to the roles. We are a tiny percentage of the population (less than 2%, and not all of us have these issues) so to expect them to all adapt to us is not realistic.

  • "I was a hiring manager" ???  maybe you should of tried to change the culture of the business from being so Prejudice!!, you were inside you could of tried to change it from within ,  its nothing to brag about being an hiring manager, [content removed by Moderator due to breaches of the online community rules and guidelines] You should of been able to spot these talented people!

  • I can totally relate to you.   I used to physically shake at Interviews.  I had very good qualifications In IT and I would apply for computer network engineering jobs.  I used to have people Interviewing me who were less qualified as me.  I used to fully prepare for days before with mock interviews.  I would have about 100 pre prepared answers ready to any question they may ask like " Where would you like to be in 10 years time"  to which i would reply" I would like to be sitting where you are"  Blah Blah......No matter what i did  i always messed up.  I was so qualified it wasn't difficult for me to get Interviews once i sent my Cv off for a Job.  I would do about 3 Interviews a week, I thought more i did better i would become at it. but alas it never happened,  i read self help books on keeping calm etc. nothing worked, I never got the my dream job, and i ended up giving up and having some dead end job for years,  When i went to an Interview for a job i didn't want, i never used to shake lol,   that was over 20 years ago I am fortunate I don't need to work anymore, The thing is, 20 years ago i didn't know i was autistic , i put it down to having bad nerves , anxiety/depression,   If i could go back in time I would come clean and mention in the Interview that I was Autistic and highlight the plus points of them employing an autistic person.  I would be wary of putting that i am autistic in my Cv as it might of worked against me.  I think you would be best disclosing it at the Interview.   I would personally give it a try. you have nothing to lose and everything to gain

  • its just interviews I have issues with

    Then I would focus on the role play of interviews as much as you can get - get the other people to throw in unpredictable questions and get into the habit of answering them until you master the challenge.

    You seem to have all the other stuff sorted so that would be how I would do it.

  • See..Im already a warehouse team leader so I already perform under pressure every single day except its not in an interview fashion, I already lead a team of up to 15-20 people with no issues and im fairly comfortable, its just interviews I have issues with

  • Trainee Train Driver 

    You would need to be able to cope well under stress in this role with situations like angry passangers banging on the cab door, hitting an animal crossing the tracks, dealing with a stranded train and upset passangers, a broken down train etc.

    Since this will also help a lot with the interview process then that is where I would focus my attention.

  • what sort of roles are you appling for?

    My experience is either for IT or construction positions (quite different fields) so may not be relevant to your target,

    If you are applying to be a librarian for example then the requirements would be very different.

    for example changing the interview to a one on one so I feel like I can allow myself to confidently give my answers without feel like im being extremely pressured

    A big part of the interview if to see how you cope under pressure which is why I suggested you get practice of this until youcan cope effectively with it.

    Most jobs have a degree of pressure as part of them so you need to be able to cope in order to fulfill your role.

    It typically takes a lot more effort from us to do this (compared to neurotypicals) but it is an invaluable life skill to learn.

  • If you can only do scripted stuff then I would have no use for you - being dynamic in an IT environment is more desirable in almost every instance.

    What I meant was, and this is something they specifically requested as well that they would ask questions that required answers based on the STAR format which is something that my answers were essentially based around but I tried to word them in a way that I could explain 

    Now when I say adjustments I mean for example changing the interview to a one on one so I feel like I can allow myself to confidently give my answers without feel like im being extremely pressured, or allowing me to write/type answers down or allowing me to view questions in advance which for what I know companies would be willing to do to make things a bit more comfortable. 

  • I memorised all my answers in the format that was recommended and felt like I tried my best in the style that is often expected

    I was a hiring manager for a long time and I'm afraid to tell you that this sort of robotic recitation of answers is pretty obvious to us and is not going to improve our opinion of the interview.

    You can go and study this stuff and come in with a passing answer even if you barely know the subject so reciting it gives the impression you are just following a script.

    In this situation I would start throwing curve ball questions to see if you know what the answer actually means, alternative ways to do the same thing and maybe ask some questions on the less well known stuff to see if you freeze up.

    If you don't sound genuine and informed with your answers then you will be up against dozens of others who can be this way.

    The point of the question with no proper answer is to see how you process it. I used to use something like "how many ping pong balls can you fit inside an Airbus A380?".

    The answer is irrelevant but you need to ask all sorts of fact finding questions to get closer to an answer. Things like:

    Are there any seats, people or cargo inside the plan (this affects how much space is available)?

    What size are the ping pong balls?

    Do the balls have to be round or can they be squished flat?

    etc

    Then with this info you need to find the manufacturers specs for internal dimensions, calculate the number of balls that can fit inside it, allow a margin for error and ask how they plan to dispose of the balls at the end if they actually try it out.

    Seeing how your mind can grapple with a question like this gives a great insight in how you respond to challenges in real life so if you did well then I can have a degree of trust that you will respond well in the role which has the occasional weird challenge.

    If you can only do scripted stuff then I would have no use for you - being dynamic in an IT environment is more desirable in almost every instance.

    As for disclosing and asking for adjustments, I would wait until after I was hired and passed probabtion as a "high needs" employee is undesirable unless they are after a DEI hire

    What adjustments could I ask for that would benefit myself that would allow myself to show my abilities

    From what you describe there is nothing that will not compromise the interview process. You didn't mention any environmental impacts, just your ability to respond under pressute to unexpected questions.

    I would get to work on this in your situation and put myself into dealing with less predictable challenges until I can do them without freezing. Maybe role playing them with family / friends / tutors is a good start.

    If you can condition yourself to deal with this then you have a much better skill set to work with and it should be reflected in your confidence in the interview process and later on in the job itself.

    Sorry if isn't an eas fix but this is my honest thoughts on the situation. Good luck