Published on 12, July, 2020
Im sick of being treated like rubbish by others. It's seems like a repeating pattern throughout my life. Surely I'm not that bad of a person so why do people look down on me and treat me badly. Everyone looks down their nose at me or underestimates me. I'm always being patronised or condescened down too. I always try not to come across as a soft touch but I suppose certain people see through that facade. I have put great effort into not being seen as approachable so people wouldnt take advantage but people can sense that I'm not that confident. Just wondering it others have the same issue?
Saying no is not the issue.
Yeah, people say that alot to me. I dont like myself all that much
my son had this alot and mainly by our own family..he got quite stressed the other day because family members along with their partners started mocking him on an online forum,and taking the mickey out of him..he asked them to stop because he was disabled and he got the answer of" don't use your autism as an excuse" i was fuming but i said to him "don't worry if they don't like you,, they're not exactly perfect themselves"
To be honest, when I think about how my zoom "Film Night" has gone so far, I ask myself the same question.
Maybe people aren't really treating me and my attempt to bring a few of us (virtually) togtehr with my little film night, I wonder, maybe it's reasonable they should ask me to change the way I do it it before they've even attended one?
Maybe it's reasonable that people attend one, then never return without giving me any feedback why, despite me having kept this up for nearly two years...
I can never really figure this stuff out, and it seems to just come down to luck and presentation whether peoeple like what you try to do or not.
Unfortunately for me I have ONE person who really LIKES film night and attends every one, So I still need to keep doing it so I may as well keep trying to get some of the original intended audience to attend.
AS soon as I get the help I need to get it done, I will compile and publish a full list of the current full years worth of films archive, so people can haev a better chance of watching a film they realy like on the first time out.
I've got a really silly chechoslovakiakn cold war / ww2 time travel film where I defy anyone to follow the plot completely on their first outing, that I'm itching to play again, and "walkabout" a really thought provoking film I first watched when I was a very young lad, and clearly missed the half of...
People , huh!
Tonight we are watching PAUL.
I would ask - how do you treat your self.
Self regard, self acceptance and love are the first steps.
I wonder if assertiveness training would help you? It helps you say no effectively and to put your point across in a non threatening way.
I wish it was because I'm different, but I dont think thats the answer. That would be the easiest simple explanation but I dont think thats the case. Other people with similiar issues to me have also treated badly for no reason, and you would think people who are similar to me would know better. I have a chip on my shoulder due to certain events that have happened to me. Are you like that?
Because you don't speak much and you're different.
Yes I have the same issue, and that's the best explanation I can come up with to explain it. I don't know what it is that's different about about me, or you, I don't even notice any difference between me and everyone else; so my answer is pretty useless to either of us though.
Over the years, I found myself drawn to philosophy which lead to further understanding sociology, psychoanalysis and psychology. There is a history of Autistic individuals finding themselves on the margins of society for the very reason Autism has been identified as 'Different', and this is to do with Language.
Technically, we use vocabulary different, more as a utility, while the Typical individual is typical due to how they're socialised through socio-linguistics (which includes vocabulary) and their internal biology which easily filters out unwanted 'sensory perception' while also allowing for a more quiet brain. We're different in a few ways that is apparently easy to notice.
The non-autistic Typical individual uses language (vocabulary, gestures, body movement and so on) as an unspoken bit of 'theatre'. There are all kinds of unspoken Social Rules, just as there are all kinds of Discovered Rules of the Natural world (laws of physics and such). These rules involve how to affirm your affiliations and where you exist on the hierarchal chain of command. They also involve an unspoken guilt everyone adheres to.
The hard fact is, we don't pick up all these unspoken social rules and often don't realise they exist but a priori - in ethics, principles, books and if we're lucky, by someone who might help us understand. We might practice theoretical knowledge of social rules, but will only ever pick them up to a degree of some sort. In the moment, unless we're incredibly familiar with someone, we might not be able to catch the telepathic ambiguity others seem to respond to.
So, imagine you're jumping into a game of footie, with no clue you're not part of the team and no clue how to play or who's on what side or that there's even a competition happening. The response would be some frustration from players, maybe some more than others. Maybe some confusion. But if you didn't quite notice they were upset and just kept kicking the ball while it was sat for a penalty shot, well, there might be anger. Or if you kicked it to the opposing player. Or noticed that foul play was used and had a go at that for fun. And this is what the Autistic experience can appear like to a Collective of non-autistics. Sadly.
The social realm is about as mysterious to us as the knowledge of any kingdom of species. I think at this point in history we would all develop much better by being raised out of society, allowed to focus and grow in our natural talents and then introduced to society around 30 with a complete handbook on how it works.
Yes, people don't want me out 'For fear of something bad happening'.
It underlines how grief is weaponised, these days.