Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all,
I was officially diagnosed 2 days ago. Even though i was pretty certain that i was autistic, the diagnosis has really affected me. Initially i was pleased with the validation finally as a 38 year old female i was fed up with having to justify to people why i am autistic as not stereotypical. Anyway once that wore off i have felt completely flat and shut down. Did anyone else experience this? I did not expect it to affect me at all as i thought i had accepted the fact that i am autistic. I have of coursed looked this up and read about late diagnosis grief? is that actually a thing?
Yes, somethings that are written, are true.
Yes late diagnosis grief is a thing. Sometimes it takes a year or two to kick in though. The first few years can be learning about it and then almost suddenly a great sense of sadness can kick in and that’s when the grief sets in. During this period it can be helpful to cry and let go of any emotions from the past. But this can take years. Many late diagnosed people feel as though they have missed out on life. In fact many autistic people in general diagnosed or not feel as though they have missed out in life. Maybe they have missed out in life but how do you just get over that? Some people just can’t. It either makes you bitter, spiteful and twisted or something else. A lot of autistic people I meet are bitter and angry I get why but yeh I don’t have the answers though. ‘Get over it’ is easy enough to say but not so easy in practice. It all comes down to this. In my personal opinion I believe that autism is the result of some kinda chemical imbalance this is what’s behind everything related to autism. Too low GABA levels is the core root of autism and all its manifestations. This is my opinion doesn’t mean I’m right but all the research points in that direction. Autistic people are likely jealous of other non autistic humans because they are more care free and happy. This likely makes autistic people livid and jealous and envious beyond belief. Because they want to experience that too.
You’re most welcome!
Hi Bunny,
Thank you so much for your very helpful reply! i really appreciate it. I will do as advised re the book and have a look through the links you have provided
Hi Jo - congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community!
It's great that you've already felt some benefit from your diagnosis - I cried with relief when I received mine!
However, during the period following a diagnosis it also can be common for us - especially as late-diagnosed adults - to experience emotional dysregulation. So please don't worry, this is normal! This can include working through a phase where we experience (backward-focused) anger, frustration, grieving and more. And I, for one, have also cried about that, too :(
The NAS has a great set of articles focused around diagnosis, including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months - you might find them of interest and/or helpful:
NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis
NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis
In terms of what to do next, my advice at this point (ie so soon after your diagnosis two days ago) would be to try and give yourself some time and breathing space to process and absorb everything that you've been through, and let your feelings settle down.
For me, as for many others here, my diagnosis turned out to be much more of the start of a new journey, rather than a solution-rich conclusion.
Looking ahead just a little, therapy is often recommended after a diagnosis. You might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful, myself included:
The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy