Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi I have posted on here for a while been busy with other things but I’m back now. I wish this was a happy post but it’s not. Last night I had a panic attack because I hadn’t heard from my friend who always says good night to me it’s a comfort thing, he never answered his phone or anything and I got extremely worried I thought he was having another heart attack or something. Anyway my panic attack turned into a full blown meltdown and I just remember screaming and screaming and screaming. Window was open oops I must have been really loud and my neighbours from across the road came over and knocked my door I ignored them and then they shouted Rachel are you ok? I just wanted them to leave me alone. So I tried to hide somewhere to ride out the storm. The next thing then the police come and check on me and I am so embarrassed angry and annoyed that happened. I was fine I wasn’t in danger I just needed to let my emotions out. I explained to the police I was autistic and I was just having a meltdown but they insisted on coming in and checking I was ok. Long story short they left I left the house to get some fresh air to clear my head and my friend contacts me apologising for the late good night. I don’t know how to deal with my neighbours I’m so embarrassed to bump into them and my friend isn’t happy with me because I freaked out he is also on the spectrum.
Your neighbours did the right thing. I get what you were going through. A close friend of mine had a brain aneurysm and during his recovery, I was to contact his parents if for any reason he became unresponsive without warning, which happened. Another close friend who was in a motor accident could say they'd be right back, and then I'd not hear from them for the rest of the day. I've sent panic messages and calls to family members to see if my friends were ok or needed help.
I have gastro-intestinal issues and psoriasis, which is an immune disease. My doctors believe this was brought on by excessive cortisol in my system. Basically stress was hitting me too hard and flooding my body with enough adrenaline to cause permanent damage. I encourage you to seek ways to manage your stress levels so that the same doesn't happen to you.
I'd recommend, if you can manage to, thanking your neighbours for checking in on you, and apologise for scaring them. In the end, it's good to have neighbours like them who will act if they think you're in danger. I would certainly hope your friend has people around to help him if the situation you feared was happening had been real.