Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi I have posted on here for a while been busy with other things but I’m back now. I wish this was a happy post but it’s not. Last night I had a panic attack because I hadn’t heard from my friend who always says good night to me it’s a comfort thing, he never answered his phone or anything and I got extremely worried I thought he was having another heart attack or something. Anyway my panic attack turned into a full blown meltdown and I just remember screaming and screaming and screaming. Window was open oops I must have been really loud and my neighbours from across the road came over and knocked my door I ignored them and then they shouted Rachel are you ok? I just wanted them to leave me alone. So I tried to hide somewhere to ride out the storm. The next thing then the police come and check on me and I am so embarrassed angry and annoyed that happened. I was fine I wasn’t in danger I just needed to let my emotions out. I explained to the police I was autistic and I was just having a meltdown but they insisted on coming in and checking I was ok. Long story short they left I left the house to get some fresh air to clear my head and my friend contacts me apologising for the late good night. I don’t know how to deal with my neighbours I’m so embarrassed to bump into them and my friend isn’t happy with me because I freaked out he is also on the spectrum.
That is actually a brilliant idea. I like that you have been proactive about it.
I don't know if you have read Fern Brady's "Strong Female Character". She is a very funny Scottish comedian. She eventually found out she was autistic, but her journey started because she wanted to know why she kept smashing her furniture. I really recommend this book - I loved it.
Thanks for your comments I just feel embarrassed and I understand they thought I was in danger. If I see them I will speak to them I just hope they haven’t contacted my dad as he moved away to live with his new partner and my mum passed away a few years ago. I also spoke to one of my other friends on that is also on the spectrum and he is a boxer and he recommended I buy a punch bag and I put it in the spear bedroom and when I’m about to have a meltdown to just attack the bag until the storm has passed.
apologize to everyone, everyone. And thank them for being there for you.
We live in a world with others, also living with us.
From the outside of a meltdown it is hard to say what is going on and people are frightened by them.
Your neighbor was not interfering so much as showing concern.
Once you apologize, your embarrassment will dissolve, that is what apologies are for.
You are very fortunate to live among such kind people who would look after your well-being!
Your neighbours did the right thing. I get what you were going through. A close friend of mine had a brain aneurysm and during his recovery, I was to contact his parents if for any reason he became unresponsive without warning, which happened. Another close friend who was in a motor accident could say they'd be right back, and then I'd not hear from them for the rest of the day. I've sent panic messages and calls to family members to see if my friends were ok or needed help.
I have gastro-intestinal issues and psoriasis, which is an immune disease. My doctors believe this was brought on by excessive cortisol in my system. Basically stress was hitting me too hard and flooding my body with enough adrenaline to cause permanent damage. I encourage you to seek ways to manage your stress levels so that the same doesn't happen to you.
I'd recommend, if you can manage to, thanking your neighbours for checking in on you, and apologise for scaring them. In the end, it's good to have neighbours like them who will act if they think you're in danger. I would certainly hope your friend has people around to help him if the situation you feared was happening had been real.
Actually, I do have some more thoughts.
I walked into town - partly because another member inadvertently made me feel that I should get out more, and your post was all I could think about. (I can't help what I fixate on sometimes)
I tried to tackle it in that I thought "what would I do if I woke up one morning having found myself in your exact situation". I did come up with an answer. You may not like it and others on here may not like it, but I am actually quite good with people - a bit of a "Neurotypical Whisperer", as it were.
What would I do?
I would email the police station with a thank you. I'd mark it for the attention of the officers that attended your address at the time. I'd make the email quite brief and thank them for attending and treating you well, explain that your autism sometimes creates situations where it is impossible to keep in your emotions. That you are now OK, if a little embarrassed.
I would write a note that is similar to your neighbours.
These will have the effect of humanising you once again.
Like I said, this is just what I would do. I don't think the neighbours were 'interfering'. There is no difference between the sound of a meltdown (that most people are not even aware is a thing), and someone in trouble.
Rach91, I understand your embarrassment. A least this, everyone seemed to have your best interests at heart.
I don't have any suggestions really, but sometimes it is just good to share like you have done.