Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi I have posted on here for a while been busy with other things but I’m back now. I wish this was a happy post but it’s not. Last night I had a panic attack because I hadn’t heard from my friend who always says good night to me it’s a comfort thing, he never answered his phone or anything and I got extremely worried I thought he was having another heart attack or something. Anyway my panic attack turned into a full blown meltdown and I just remember screaming and screaming and screaming. Window was open oops I must have been really loud and my neighbours from across the road came over and knocked my door I ignored them and then they shouted Rachel are you ok? I just wanted them to leave me alone. So I tried to hide somewhere to ride out the storm. The next thing then the police come and check on me and I am so embarrassed angry and annoyed that happened. I was fine I wasn’t in danger I just needed to let my emotions out. I explained to the police I was autistic and I was just having a meltdown but they insisted on coming in and checking I was ok. Long story short they left I left the house to get some fresh air to clear my head and my friend contacts me apologising for the late good night. I don’t know how to deal with my neighbours I’m so embarrassed to bump into them and my friend isn’t happy with me because I freaked out he is also on the spectrum.
Actually, I do have some more thoughts.
I walked into town - partly because another member inadvertently made me feel that I should get out more, and your post was all I could think about. (I can't help what I fixate on sometimes)
I tried to tackle it in that I thought "what would I do if I woke up one morning having found myself in your exact situation". I did come up with an answer. You may not like it and others on here may not like it, but I am actually quite good with people - a bit of a "Neurotypical Whisperer", as it were.
What would I do?
I would email the police station with a thank you. I'd mark it for the attention of the officers that attended your address at the time. I'd make the email quite brief and thank them for attending and treating you well, explain that your autism sometimes creates situations where it is impossible to keep in your emotions. That you are now OK, if a little embarrassed.
I would write a note that is similar to your neighbours.
These will have the effect of humanising you once again.
Like I said, this is just what I would do. I don't think the neighbours were 'interfering'. There is no difference between the sound of a meltdown (that most people are not even aware is a thing), and someone in trouble.