Published on 12, July, 2020
I dated an autistic guy 7 months ago and i still like him, we are just friends now and i am dating other guys, he is OK with this.
Since then he wont date me again and i believe he has made reasons for not seeing me again. He lost his job, he is stressed out, is a lost soul, and recently has said he doesn't want a girlfriend. When we dated and were intimate and he seemed uncomfortable, i think he just went along with it, he did like me but he couldn't and still doesn't express any feelings. He almost seems robotic. I think hes never wanted a girlfriend or wants to be intimate, he said at the beginning he is lonely and i think the dating scene was to feed that loneliness at the time and to try to fit in. He has confidence issues and i believe he is on benefits so that could also be a reason for not wanting a girlfriend. He has trust issues, he doesn't have social media and is very antisocial. sometimes his communication is very limited. I know autistic people don't like change and this could be another reason it is difficult for him to be in a relationship.
Does it take time for an autistic person to trust someone and want to have a relationship despite their personal challenges?
It has been a difficult time for me trying to understand him as nothing has made sense, but i can see the good in him and reasons why i want to continue dating him. It just seems impossible.
It would be helpful to have a view from someone who understands his situation.
Yes it does take time, it feels like we're expected to be intimate to early in a relationship and some of us like sex but not the relationship sided of things, just like NT's.
It sounds like you're feeling rejected and not handling it very well, you like each other and get on well, why is that not enough? Do you never feel like that with NT's you've had relationships with?
Nobody likes feeling under pressure, especially romatically or sexually, it makes us robotic as we go through the motions to keep the peace or because we don't really know what or how we feel yet.
He's told you why he dosen't feel able to continue the relationship, why are his reasons not good enough?
Wow everybody needs to calm down! What is this mating season or something? Everybody is going on about relationships for some reason. Let’s all just calm down and stop getting agitated here. The girl explained her reasons why she is concerned and frustrated with the man’s lack of ambition romantically. She’s not even saying his reasons aren’t good enough. She just saying she wants a man to be romantically involved with but he seems not interested. I gave her some advice everything is good. Let’s all get along now.