Published on 12, July, 2020
I dated an autistic guy 7 months ago and i still like him, we are just friends now and i am dating other guys, he is OK with this.
Since then he wont date me again and i believe he has made reasons for not seeing me again. He lost his job, he is stressed out, is a lost soul, and recently has said he doesn't want a girlfriend. When we dated and were intimate and he seemed uncomfortable, i think he just went along with it, he did like me but he couldn't and still doesn't express any feelings. He almost seems robotic. I think hes never wanted a girlfriend or wants to be intimate, he said at the beginning he is lonely and i think the dating scene was to feed that loneliness at the time and to try to fit in. He has confidence issues and i believe he is on benefits so that could also be a reason for not wanting a girlfriend. He has trust issues, he doesn't have social media and is very antisocial. sometimes his communication is very limited. I know autistic people don't like change and this could be another reason it is difficult for him to be in a relationship.
Does it take time for an autistic person to trust someone and want to have a relationship despite their personal challenges?
It has been a difficult time for me trying to understand him as nothing has made sense, but i can see the good in him and reasons why i want to continue dating him. It just seems impossible.
It would be helpful to have a view from someone who understands his situation.
Every autistic person is an individual, just like people in general. I can remember when I had a couple of years of unemployment after leaving university I deliberately did not follow up on possible relationships because I thought I had nothing to offer. Autistics are often very moral, sometimes inappropriately rigidly so. I believe that I am somewhat demi-sexual, in that I need to be emotionally involved and very comfortable with someone before I can contemplate being physically intimate with them. Once that emotional connection is made I have no problem with intimacy, sexual or otherwise. But, like I said, all autistics are not alike.
hes over complicates everything. Yes, everyone is different although i can relate to some of what you have said as he has said the same