Published on 12, July, 2020
I was recently diagnosed with autism in my early 40’s and it’s been making me think about how, although I have friends, it feels like such a lonely place because I might not act interested in people or want to talk but I still crave friendship. Does anyone have any advice on this?
I find a good rule is set clear bounderys I WILL NOT go the pub if you want to be my friend but I will play dnd with you if you have a good player group and a fun dm I WILL not be expected to talk to you on a regular basis as I like my own space but I will go for a coffee with you or catch up at work as and when
It seems NT want your attention all the time this is what led to me after years and years deciding gaming voice chat and party chat isnt something I enjoy as people beg you to chat no thanks I just want to play my game
Also dont make friend with people who expect a favour back for a favour sure if you cover me at work I will cover your shifts if I can but dont expect me to cover you going for a night out just because you covered ny emergencie
Honestly people say NDs can be rude without meaning to but I find NTs are rude to try guilt trip you
People always say engage in your hobbies to find friends the only hobbies I have that I feel I like to share in a social way are magic the gathering and dungeons and dragons oj and pokemon but these are designed to be played socially with people you may not know or people you dont live with as opposed to my other favourite cluedo which is designed to play with your family etc I.e people you know very well
Always know it's ok to want your own time
Me personally I feel more at ease with my family(or I should say my OHs family as I see them more)but even then there days where o see them and I'm withdrawn(at work my bosses sometimes think I'm not too good or maybe they think I'm rude when I'm withdrawn but tbh until I get my diagnosis i feel better masking it by saying I'm tired or I have a family issue)