Published on 12, July, 2020
I was married for seven years, and at the time, I didn't know my ex-husband had Asperger's. When I got pregnant, he left me. The pregnancy was unexpected, and we were already having many problems, mainly because I couldn't understand him in several ways that I now realize were related to Asperger's syndrome. Back then, we didn't have this diagnosis, and I'm only starting to understand it now, after five years of raising my son alone. I sought help to deal with the challenges in raising my son and found out that he also probably has Asperger's. This has helped me better understand what my ex-husband must have felt with the unexpected pregnancy and all our other difficulties, without knowing that he himself was different.
I miss him a lot, especially when it comes to raising our son. He still likes me a lot and visits us often. Sometimes, it even seems like he pays more attention to me than to our son. However, we are still separated, and I know that sometimes he has relationships with other women. I really want to win him back, but although he is aware of the suspicion that he might have Asperger's, he hasn't sought any help or psychological follow-up for verification and diagnosis. He still sees our separation as final.
What should I do to win him back, considering this situation?
Wow thats a big event you have both been through. I am now 54 and never, ever wanted kids, but married for 19 years. There is no way I could have coped with kids and I would also have run away. I can barely cope with me, let alone anybody else. How is he with your son? Maybe that he could cope with getting back with you but three of you could be the issue? I would do this in small steps. Maybe try and do some small things with the three of you, see how he copes? Then just the two of you dating again? One thing is give him time to process things don't rush it. good luck.