Published on 12, July, 2020
I used to not say anything because I hate confrontation but as I’ve gotten older it’s stronger and I feel I need to do something about it. So I end up doing or saying things more so which I feel is right and justified in the moment but then I can’t cope with the backlash and I end up second guessing myself and having major panics that the other person will do something awful to me as a result.
I always handle things the wrong way.
TheMaskedPro said:as I’ve gotten older it’s stronger and I feel I need to do something about it.
I'm probably the opposite - I've learned that sticking your head above the trench wall is a sure way to get it shot at.
NTs don't have our sense of justice and trying to get this across is a recipe for disaster in my experience.
Just live and let live - less friction = less stress and more energy for enjoying life.
Yes. This exactly. Although there has to be a point when enough is enough. There's so much crap going on around the world, sometimes it feels prudent to bury my head in the sand
As someone who wants to remain somewhat invisible I'm loathed to stick my head out of the trench.
Hergé said:there has to be a point when enough is enough
I can think of no occasions when this has not had some repercussions for me so the key seems to be knowing what to expect and deciding if the anxiety of doing nothing is worse than the after effects of doing something.
A good analogy could be referenced through the old fable about King Canut and his attempt to stop the tide coming in on the sea shore.
That feels like how I have experienced life amongst the neurodiverse workforce - 10 years as a technician and 22 as a manager if all sorts of companies.
A few are really supportive but didn't last that long until they were assimilated by bigger companies, went bust or changed management. The Civil Service are one example that was quite good but the beurocracy is crushing there.
One of my Achilles heels has been that I've always been more interested in looking after the teams I manage rather than being the managements puppet to implement whatever hare brained micro management ideas flit through their deranged minds - being that resistance buffer always got me into trouble even though it meant the team contined to work very effectively and were largely content.
It is little coincidence that the teams often ended up leaving after I was pushed out and quite often some staff would follow me to new companies.
The solution would be for me to be a good little manager and do exactly as I was told and let the senior management idea of the day land on the team, making their life a confusing, inefficient mess and ignore the stuff I've learned through my career because my bosses boss heard about a great idea from his mate on the gold course.
So for me the point where enough is enough is when it starts to hurt the team I'm responsible for.
Learn from my lesson though - if you can be the management lackey and do what you are told then it bodes well for job security, at least up until the point the team leave and you are left being unable to deliver the level of service you are obliged to give, then it is suddenly your fauly and they will hire me in to fix it...
Oh the irony!