Published on 12, July, 2020
I just started the process of being diagnosed with autism with 'right to choose'. I also have been diagnosed with adhd in June this year.
The question I wanted to ask was about teasing. I was teased at age 9 yrs old because I developed a skin condition (which I grew out of). The teasing lasted til I left primary school. I remember there was a particular boy who teased me. I was lined up with my class one day and I kicked him and he kicked me back. I remember thinking that hurt and not going to that again. My parents never knew I was teased as I bottle it up. I think it was a subconscious decision because I thought I had to suck it up. I was brought up by a WW2 child who lived through air raids in London as a teenager.
I chose to go to a girls school because I hated boys because of that. In secondary school I was never teased as far as I can remember (over 50 years ago ).
Fast forward to being an adult I still don't like being teased (even if its gently teasing). I thought it was because I was teased as a child, however I now realised that I don't understand I am being teased e.g. I just done an open water swim in a lake last Saturday. I went to church the next day and some people were teasing about the number of the lake. Each lake near there had a number. I answered that I didn't know why it was called that number or that there were others. I thought they were being serious but they weren't. It took me a moment to realise they didn't want an explanation.
Is this a characteristic of autism. Not understanding when people tease you?
I wasn't treated bad during my 10 years at boarding school(Glengorse 1965-1970,Felsted 1970-1975) because I was a nasty person. I was introverted and shy,physically awkward, socially gauche, bad at sports. The shyness turning to social anxiety soon after starting at Felsted. Prep school was comparatively better than public school but that's not saying much. At prep school I was described as the missing link between ape and man. Last meal there just before leaving,unbeknownst to me, tobacco was put in my cup of tea. I drank some tea and some tobacco, and immediately felt very nauseous. I puked up at the end of term chapel service. The person who did it, was leaving too, knew that he wouldn't be punished. I'd had no idea he hated me so much.
At Felsted things went bad first night in the dorm. Other boys bragging about sex, and I was naively honest in saying I wasn't experienced. That marked me out as a 'weirdo', which was accentuated by my physical and social awkwardness. So many highly unpleasant things were said over the next nearly 5 years. The one that stands out though is a classroom of other boys directing monkey chants at me.That bullying was one of the main things that lead to a deterioration in my mental health. Nearly 50 years later I still struggle to cope with the psychological effects. Achievements wise I'm a very pale shadow of the person I could have been, because of the bullying- alongside other factors.