Published on 12, July, 2020
I just started the process of being diagnosed with autism with 'right to choose'. I also have been diagnosed with adhd in June this year.
The question I wanted to ask was about teasing. I was teased at age 9 yrs old because I developed a skin condition (which I grew out of). The teasing lasted til I left primary school. I remember there was a particular boy who teased me. I was lined up with my class one day and I kicked him and he kicked me back. I remember thinking that hurt and not going to that again. My parents never knew I was teased as I bottle it up. I think it was a subconscious decision because I thought I had to suck it up. I was brought up by a WW2 child who lived through air raids in London as a teenager.
I chose to go to a girls school because I hated boys because of that. In secondary school I was never teased as far as I can remember (over 50 years ago ).
Fast forward to being an adult I still don't like being teased (even if its gently teasing). I thought it was because I was teased as a child, however I now realised that I don't understand I am being teased e.g. I just done an open water swim in a lake last Saturday. I went to church the next day and some people were teasing about the number of the lake. Each lake near there had a number. I answered that I didn't know why it was called that number or that there were others. I thought they were being serious but they weren't. It took me a moment to realise they didn't want an explanation.
Is this a characteristic of autism. Not understanding when people tease you?
Definitely something I struggled with and still struggle with. Went to an all boys secondary school. Was teased mercilessly for 6 or 7 years because they knew they could get an extreme reaction out of me. And I remember once at primary school, aged about 10, that I stabbed someone with a pencil because of teasing. I have become better at not reacting outwardly so much, as I hate confrontation, but still can have an extreme internal stress reaction, which I struggle with. Autism obviously complicates this as it may be much harder to judge people's intentions.
I am sorry you had such a tough time at school. Children can be so mean.
I saw the boys who teased me in primary school years later. I forgave him. I didn't know then that bullies are usually bullying because they are unhappy or struggling themselves.