Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
So feel a bit weird being here. I have not been diagnosed with Autism, but recently got referred to my GPs mental health consultant and after my assessment he indicated that I had strong Autistic traits. I am not sure what that means, he didn't really elaborate, and I am a recluse and was under so much stress being out and down the doctors surgery that I just couldn't think of anything other than getting out of there.
I originally went down there because I have bounced out of work again, struggling to be functional. It is something I have been through before, but this time seems worse, I can't seem to work around it like I normally do. I'm used to 'pretending to be normal' but right now that ability seems to have abandoned me. I naturally did some reading, and came across the phrase Autistic Burnout on here. This sound exactly like what I go through, but I am also aware it is easy to feel affinity for symptoms and it just be coincidence.
There doesn't seem to be any help forth coming in the short term, but without work I will be homeless in 10 months (I will run out of money and my tenancy ends). It is just me, so there is no one to help out. I need to start working the problem, and at this point I am willing to try anything. It might turn out to be a mis-diagnosis but I would be interested what people here do to combat and recover from Autistic Burnout. I thought a little trial and error might at least eliminate some things. Getting a bit desperate now, so any suggestions would be helpful.
Thanks
Hi Moon Scribe.
Love the name.
Sounds like you're at the start of what could be a potentially difficult and confusing time, trying to get answers and investigating, learning as much as you can. This period comes with moments of clarity and relief, but also moments of doubt and internal conflict. Just try to go with the flow of it and know that although it might not come easy at times, the learning journey is worth it. Hang in there.
As for burnout, that involves my least favourite word "patience". There is sadly no quick fix. Give yourself time, no expectations. Rest and do things you enjoy that don't take much energy. Allow yourself to be what seems lazy, and remind yourself that it's not laziness, it's being a friend to yourself and giving yourself what you need.
Sorry you are currently out of employment, that stress and pressure won't be helping you. I wish I could suggest something helpful, maybe someone else here can for you.
Once you have recovered, can I suggest that you continue to be gentle with yourself, recognise when you're feeling depleted and reign life in a bit to help you manage and prevent burnout again. I'm currently at this stage, I don't yet if it's working, time will tell on that, and I may need to periodically make adjustments, which you may need to also.
Wishing you the best.
Thanks for the reply.
It is a tricky one. For me this is a life long condition, and I have been doing the best I can with it. I had a complete work burnout 3 years ago where a project went into chaos and I ended up working 100 hours weeks for over 8 months to try and make it tenable. I need to work to a predictable plan, and I am at my worst where everything is in constant flux. The only way to get on top of it is to work it back into some semblance of order. I ended up pretty sick, and since then my 'sensitivity' has been disproportionate, which means I can't even get through a day of work without imploding.
I doubt whether I will get to the bottom of what is wrong. I have been referred to another agency, but the waiting times are apparently 12 to 18 months, and I will be homeless and on the streets before then. Which would make it pretty difficult to attend, so right now that is a dead end. I am half way between giving up and accepting the inevitable, or chasing down every possibility. I'm exhausted and at the end of my tether.
Really trying not to just feel sorry for myself, but its hard right now. Having severe anxiety and being a recluse doesn't gel well with financial troubles and imminently losing the only haven you have. I couldn't survive in a HMO crammed in with other people, which is all benefits would get me, so my back up plan is moving up to Scotland and living in the wild (I'm a keen outdoors type of person, I like the solitude wherever I can find it). I am wondering if I would be better giving up chasing after what I had and focusing on working towards making that as liveable as possible.
I can empathise with the fear of losing your home, though my circumstances were very different, which sadly means I'm not able to offer you any useful information.
It sounds like after you're burnout 3 years ago that you never fully recovered, and that would perhaps explain why it's been so difficult and challenging since (non-professional opinion).
Please don't give up. There could be other avenues to try, a different approach. It's hard to think of options when in the midst of chaos, but unconditional people like us are very good at unconditional solutions. Keep trying the usual avenues, of course, but be open to the more abstract also, maybe in that you can find something that will work, even if it's temporary, just to give yourself a bit of a time buffer.
Hey, hope you're doing ok and still holding on. Thought I'd check in on you.
I don't know anything about software development, having to turn on an unfamiliar laptop is a cause for rising panic, however, it must have skills that are transferable. Perhaps exploring a different path that requires the same or similar skill set could produce some acceptable results for you. Anyway, let me know how you're doing, and ignore my attempts to help if you find them unhelpful.