Update on Confused post .Still confused.

So following my post from almost a fortnight ago, I'm still confused. 

Update.

So the guy I mentioned before, has continued to give me gifts. And I believe even flirted with me.

So I asked a third party to offer him my phone number. She later told me that he does want me in his life, but he is not looking for a romantic relationship. More companionship. And I'm okay with that, I think.

But she also said that he doesn't want my number just yet because he needs to process the situation. I kind of get this (as i too am Autistic), but I feel like I'm getting mixed messages from him.

Why would someone behave in that way (gift giving and flirting) if they didn't want a friendship to develop into something more ? So, what is there to process ?

Him not wanting my number feels a bit like rejection or game playing if I'm honest. And this is making me feel like I want to withdraw, and not go to the group that we both attend anymore.

Am I looking at this all wrong ? 

Please be kind, I'm fragile. 

Parents
  • Hi Moonchild, I am really weird about relationships. I can see myself acting like this guy in a similar situation. Not sure how to explain. Maybe he wants to control the pace. Maybe he is unsure of his ability to maintain a friendship. Maybe he is unsure if he wants a friend right now. Maybe he's afraid of trying and failing. I am very ambivalent about friendships because I have a long, long history of failures. Also a long history of being confused so I can certainly relate on that score! Good Luck!

  • Thank you for sharing your perspective. It's helped. And thank you for the good luck wish. It's good to know that I'm not the only one who finds relationships confusing. 

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