Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm sure I'm asexual and aromantic, after numerous attempts at dating apps I quickly lose heart and delete my profile. The rigmarole of meeting and dating people loses it's appeal before coming back during a spell of longing and boredom.
That said, I have a curiosity about sex and find scenes in movies and TV series fascinating and arousing. I enjoy the fantasies more than the reality it seems.
Option 1. you just have an academic facination with sex. That perfectly posible. There are people facinated by serial killers they're not planing to do it themselves.
Option 2. you do have a sex drive but it's really only triggered / satasified by some very spicific set of things. Like maybe oneday you will find some odd sex act involving 2 manquins, a bicycal pump and 20 leaters of custard is the one thing that does it for you.
Option 3. you are aromantic but not asexual. Thats actually far more common than you might think. So sex is appealing so long as a relationship isn't involved, hence the interest in sex scenes and fantasies.
That seems more like me. I could care less about the romantic and social stuff but I still have sexual responses and drives.
PANDAEMONIUM said:I'd want to enjoy sex with other people or try new things.
If social contact is an issue then finding a sex / social worker who works with autists is an option. If you have a therapist then ask them (shoud this route appleal) and you may be able to experience the real thing before deciding is all the sweating, grunting, intense and ofen slippery experience is what you want. Some of the sensory input (touch, closeness, smells and tastes) can be a bit much for some.
Working with a sutable worker is one route which helps demistify the experience and helps you decide if you want to persue such a thing in the wider context of a relationship - after all the sex part if a very small part of the relationship fime spent together normally.
Due the potential for things going wrong here I would deffo suggest getting your therapist to work with you on making such a decision and trying to locate a worker who is suitable as the extra nerves of a first time mixed with autism could make it super stressful and you want someone who is patient and understanding.
I think it is still illegal in the UK so somewhere like Amsterdam would be worth considering and most things can be planned in advance, including a video call with your worker.
That would be my suggestion anyway.
True, I'd want to enjoy sex with other people or try new things.
Which probably means if you want to pursue that you either do casual sex or find some really open minded friends who are into no strings casual sex. Maybe oneday you find someone you want to be more than friends with ... or not ... or maybe you just keep your sex life to yourself. It's not like you can't do plenty of sexual thinks on your own.