Confused.

I'm feeling confused and low.

I find it hard to read people, and it causes me to overthink - especially when it comes to men. 

I've been attending a group for a while, and over the last couple of months I've been getting to know a guy there. He makes me laugh, he's kind, generous and smart, but sometimes I find his language quite crude. But no one is perfect right ? I'm certainly not.

I'm quite a reserved person. I can't work out if I like him as a friend or I want something more. Or just to keep my distance. He is autistic too.

In the last couple of weeks he's bought me chocolate, and made me a flower out of a napkin. And I'm not sure what to make of this, or how he feels about me. Sometimes he teases me about my physical disability, and while it hasn't offended me, I'm not sure that's okay. 

The last relationship I was in many years ago was abusive. And everytime I get close to a guy, all that trauma surfaces again, and I want to run. I have had counselling for this trauma, but it still rears its ugly head. 

As I said I'm confused and feeling really quite low.

Any thought's ? Please be kind, I'm feeling fragile.