Published on 12, July, 2020
I have very recently being diagnosed autistic and adhd aged 37 I have waited over 2 years for my assessment and before this took a year to even speak to my doctor about it as I find it hard to open up and talk about myself. I felt a sense of relief when I was diagnosed as I finally realised I'm not broken or a failure my brain just works differently. I told my mum which I was worried about and she just said nah I would ask for a second opinion you just struggled more when you moved out as you had more responsibilities and how could I have a job and kids if I was autistic and then she just ignored my messages all night. I just don't know how to feel about it I feel is it my fault that I didn't open up more or speak more about my difficulties or should I have told her differently or beforehand. I just feel a bit lost with it all
I know how it feels, it’s not that I give you an advice, because everyone is different. But remember that many people have outdated view of autism. Including my mom. I’m not diagnosed but it happened to me that recently two mental health professionals told me I’m very likely to be autistic and I have quite strong traits. I’m not going for assessment because it’s complicated and energy consuming and I have different issues right now. I have a part time job which I like, I run my household, I’m married and I have a child. And I struggle with my mental health my whole life. But my mom does not acknowledge that and she does not accept the fact that professionals said I’m probably autistic, she didn’t accept my teachers telling her that either. It was in primary school. In my case I keep in touch with my mom, but I avoid talking about that to her, because I know I would be upset by her dismissing me. I can see that she is very confident in her understanding of autism and not willing to learn something more. So I just leave it there, I love her, she helped me a lot with other stuff, but I just accept that I’m on my own with my self discovery and acceptance journey. If you are in a similar situation, maybe having a therapist would be good solution (if you don’t have one yet). I have only my family and one long term friend so I’m not willing to fight them and loose them.