Published on 12, July, 2020
I have very recently being diagnosed autistic and adhd aged 37 I have waited over 2 years for my assessment and before this took a year to even speak to my doctor about it as I find it hard to open up and talk about myself. I felt a sense of relief when I was diagnosed as I finally realised I'm not broken or a failure my brain just works differently. I told my mum which I was worried about and she just said nah I would ask for a second opinion you just struggled more when you moved out as you had more responsibilities and how could I have a job and kids if I was autistic and then she just ignored my messages all night. I just don't know how to feel about it I feel is it my fault that I didn't open up more or speak more about my difficulties or should I have told her differently or beforehand. I just feel a bit lost with it all
I’m really sorry that your mother is reacting in this way. She’s not only being insensitive she’s also not treating you with respect and empathy you deserve when opening up to her about a significant event in your life (an autism diagnosis can be a lot to process and it can be a challenging time). Also - ignoring your messages is really rude - that’s really unpleasant, I’m sorry you’re being treated like that by your own mother. Please remember that this weird behaviour her flaw - and not your fault in any way. By the time I was diagnosed my mother had dementia so couldn’t comment on my diagnosis (or understand it). But my dad’s reaction was very unhelpful (as I expected tbh). Sometimes our parents don’t have the emotional intelligence or understanding to react in the way we would wish. Try not to take it personally - to be brutally frank it’s often because of their ignorance. I wish you well - I hope you can find good ways to come to terms with this period in your life and move forward in a positive way to a bright future. Don’t let your mother bring you down - focus on your own healing and well being. Good luck!