Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello everyone,
I am a 51 yr old man that was confirmed autistic last Tuesday, experiencing mixed emotions is an understatement, I felt relief at now knowing why I was "different" then anger at losing 47 years of my life being undiagnosed and struggling with everything, regret at missed opportunities in life because I didn't know how to handle those chances, sadness that I've missed out on what neurotypical people did like, go on holidays together, enjoying each others social company.
My first question is, how did you handle the news of being told you are autistic?
Welcome, Craig, and congratulations on your diagnosis!
It's wonderful that you're already enjoying some of the benefits that can come with a diagnosis (you mention feeling relieved). You're far from alone, though, in also feeling angry and regretful.
During the period following a diagnosis - and for late-diagnosed autistic adults in particular - it can be common to experience some emotional dysregulation. This can include working through a phase where we experience (backward-focused) anger, frustration, grieving and more - as I've also been doing.
The NAS has a newly refreshed set of articles focused around diagnosis, including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months - you might find them of interest and/or helpful:
How you might feel after a diagnosis
Other advice covering post-diagnosis
Hi Craig
I was diagnosed last year in my fifties. I could not put it better than what Bunny has said.
It takes time to work through and over a year later I am still working through it!
One thing, probably the best advice I was given and can pay forward is to be kind to yourself. None of this is your fault, you are not defective but are different. I have found comfort and strength in the couple of months I have been here.