Published on 12, July, 2020
Iv decided to do a forum on my wildlife holidays where I can tell you about my holiday rather than just sending pictures
cause iv been on lots of them this year rather than only sending photos. also proper trips il tell you about and add photos to go with it on this post aswell. cause it will be easyer and better for me but is also for holidays cause im going on lots of holidays this year and it deserves its own thread in this sense.
my first holiday I went on this year was Wales. I went to Snowdonia near the national park
we saw a lamma and a pony
with the view we got from the cottage we stayed in was of the sea
Jackdaws perched on the buildings when we watched tv we went for a walk and I got great pictures of the moutains
you could see them on the beach outline at the beach the waves I saw a literally called gray heron fly past
the waves crashed against the rocks and became fully submerged until they broke and forced its way over. my long lens saved my life by getting me up close enough to photograph the waders and I saw Great crested grebes.
back at the cottage herring gulls at Jackdaws
the next day we went to the waterfalls I saw yellow gorse.
the water level was high but not flooded. it was a adventure and the gorse made it look colourful
it was massive then we went down the mountain the next day we went to the sea again and I saw a cormerent. there was lots of bladder wrack which is a type of seaweed.
seaweed are actualy a type of algae. some can surve out the water for a certain period of time. others dont survive as well it depends on the type cause theres different types of seaweed.
this one is normaly mistake for seaweed but is actualy a type of animal instead
in July
im very used to wildlife watching in the uk and while I have been to menorca I havnt wildlife watched there cause I didnt have an interest in Wildlife then so this was my first time wildlife watching in a different country.
I allways have to wear ear defenders when i go to the air port but they had disability asistance. I had to improvise cause the person that supports me that went with me hasnt gone on holiday with me before and didnt know what to say or do with my sensory challanges at the airport. the person that was with me said she thinks il be fine but I knew cause of my autism cant deal with crowds so I said I have autism and I dont like crowds so would it be ok to go where its less busy or quiter and so she took me through. there was a point where we wernt sure if I had to take my ear defenders off at the part where you have to walk through and them see if you got metal on you so I asked the lady there if I could keep them on and she went off to ask the person behind the thing you have to walk through. I was very anxious at this point. it was time to put our items on the coveyerbelt and walk through the metal thing. The person with me for the holiday and me still didnt know so I was panicing inside and i was told to take them off by the person taking me which i was reluctant to do but the plaine lady came over and thumbed up us saying not to take them off and that i can keep them on and we went through. the flight was delayed by an hour. but it was no ones fault cause they had to help somone who couldnt walk onto the plane. so we walked and stopped every 5 minutes so people were joking about that and inpatient at the same time. eventually we got on though at last. I filmed the take off and we went over the bay of biscay on the way to Tenerife
when landing I saw mount tede from above the clouds.
the next day I saw a canarian chiffchaff
and I saw a Spanish sparrow for the first time. they were breeding at the hotel.
but one of my biggest highlights was snorkeling for the very first time
and the dolphins which i got to see for the very first time
and mount tede a active volcano with many species only found on that mountain I saw crystal on a rock
that was the last day. the next day we went on a trip but when it came to packing bags for the trip. I put my bag with the plastic bag on it ontop of my suitcase then gave it to her with the plastic bag on it but took it off and thought that she was going to put the bag in cause it didnt only have my stuff in the bag and as far as I knew the plastic bag was in the boot but at some point in the journey I wondered where the bag was and thought it might be in the boot cause i couldnt see it in the back. we checked the boot and it wasnt there.
my ear defenders got left behind which was problomatic cause the person with me wasnt willing to go back and get the ear defenders and soon we had to go to the air port. I was highly anxious and I found it diffucult getting her to understand the why it is important enough that we do have to go back anf get them we bought some silenceing headphones as an emergancy cause otherwise I wouldnt of been able to get on the plane. we went through disability asisstance. the plane was delayed by a couple of hours and we wernt able to get on until midnight. a teenager had a go in a wheelchair and a little boy was going up and down a slope behind me which i found acted as visual stimulation and made my anxiety worse. it isnt thetre fault its just cause im autistic but thanfuly things did cam down and at 12 o'clock we lined up and got on the plane and came back to the uk by 4 or 5 oclock in the morning.
out of curiosity does anyone ever get this sort of thing it usualy happens when im anxious I can display repeatative behaviors but by that i mean things like needing to open and close a cupboard a certain way like it needs to be shut a certain way or if I put a plate in the cupboard they need to be catogarised. plate with the plates.
bowls with the bowls big bowls then small bowls after in a certain way and certain position. crisps even though they all look the same to everyone else im very choosy when getting crisps at the shop or anything at the shop even though they all look thr same i need to choose the one on the right or a certain packet in the row otherwise my brain exspects if i pick the one in the middle then whicheber anxiety im anxious about could happen. if Mums poorly she could get worse or some other anxiety like a baby or toddler starting to cry cause of my hearing or anything im anxious about anywhere at all and if i pick the middle my mind unconciously becomes convinced my anxiety is genuinely going to come true or happen so It then is compulsary to pick the one on the right for example. when my anxiety is at its worst I can end up standing there forever and not pick any.
when it comes to choosing a packet from my crisp back it has to be a specific one wherevet it is in the pack or have to choose between two so that my brain can weigh up the risks of any of my anxietys happening depending on which packet i choose otherwise i become very anxious ifni pick the wrong one and i have to put them in a certain way.
or if my room was in a certain order when something stressful happened durinf that time period or ocured every time by coincidance my brain percieves it as a threat and feells like it needs to change the order of my things and it must stay that way otherwise it could happen again so they cant be in the same order or look the same as when it coured or my brain becomes convinced if will happen again its like my brain interprets itself as being in the same situation unless it doesnt look the same as the situation the stressful event cocured in. it can get really bad where i cant put anything in any place or any order at all if im very very anxious and things like having to put thinggs a certain way and or repeat certain things a certaim amount of times either actions or words can become exausfing if say it lasts half an hour, an hour or more than that which it can do at its worst. at its mildest only 5 minutes but it usualy only sets of if im particularly anxious and usualy out of nowhere and at anytime so it isnt all the time but when it does how many days it goes on for and how many times a day varys when its really bad it can become exausting but its a way of coping my brain developed when i was little but it was more subtle when i was younger i would have to repeat certain gestures people may consider odd or certaim words so that my brain is reassured and if i dont its convinced my anxietys will genuinly happen. I was just wondering if any other autostic people have similar coping mechanisms to this or not
This is all quite 'normal' for us. I don't have learning difficulties, but have similar things. If I don't even do them, I still have the urge to do them.
Worrying about things like your mum being poorly and imagining the worst outcome is called "catastrophising". I know that I do this a lot
This is a BBC article about it
https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20220725-catastrophising-how-toxic-thinking-can-lead-down-dark-path
So it is 'normal' for us (and non-autistics can do it too), but it still isn't good for our mental health.
Here are some techniques that I found that may help. Maybe just look at one or two of these instead of trying to look at all of them
Incorporating some of these strategies can help manage catastrophizing and reduce its impact on your daily life. It takes practice, but over time, these tools can make a big difference in how you respond to stress and uncertainty.
the first was just a random example rather than actual thoughts. the first one probably wasnt the best example cause i didnt give it much context. rather than actual thoughts that I have.
my thoughts are usualy based on aprehension rather than catastrophic thinking. im also very self aware so im very in tune with my thoughts and feellingsz what I was trying to say is anxietys about things you cant control.
im very good at weighing up probabilitys in my head of what is likely to happen and what isnt.
alot of my anxietys are based on things that there is a possibility of ocuring. or where events have ocured before rather than things that are unlikely. events that could very well ocur even though there isnt nesacerily any guarantee or you cant be certain for imstance in the shop it can get busy and people also sometimes like parents for instance bring little kids or babys in this has happened on a couple of ocasions and I activaly try to avoid them as a result so its something my brain has come to exspect and i usualy dont know unless i see someone with a baby or I hear screaming and it makes me feell boxed in and like i camt go anywhere and so feell helpless which escalates my anxiety more and the fact I dont know weather someone with a baby has come in with a baby or toddler or not until its too late like seeing it or hearing it can then trigger compulsive and repeatative behaviors
it is the compulsive and repeative behaviors i described that i was wondering if anyone can relate to
I would do but the compulsions dont usualy make me feell better as such and can even be a source of anxiety themselfs as i dont want them to ocur.
they feell un controlable at the time when they ocur and demand to be repeated non stop once a action is made. its usualy triggered by high levels anxiety but is at the same time a souce of anxiety.
it heightens and intensifys my anxiety the more i do certain things. i become fixated on the details of what the action entials in something for example its not being placed a certain way.
if the way iv placed something isnt the way it normaly is or how i need it to it be it worsens my anxiety.
it can be the action of puting my glasess on or putting my glasess down or it could be puting things in the draw or cupboard like cutlery or plate or . even getting ready to go out. cause its so repetative it can hold me up if im getting ready for something.
when I was on holiday amd I was in the living room
I was going to be going in the hot tub and I was exited cause iv been in the hot tub before and the hot tub is exiting but my eagerness caused restlessness and I become amxious cause i was so exited and eager so I went up to the table to put my laptop down on the table somewhere but it had to be at a specific spot where i normaly put it and how i normaly put it. if it was no where near that spot I would become overwhelmingly anxious and so to prevent that and my compulsions i had to put in the same place and in a certain way so i dont get anxious.
but that spot wasnt available so I kept puting it down on the table at specific parts but that isnt where i put it so I was taking it off the table putting it down on the table at specific parts and putting it no where else on the table even though its a big table. it went on for a long time and it went on endlessly until I acidently knocked Mums drink over by acident which i thefore ended up apologising for and Mum raised her voice and said go out to the hot tub and stop doing stuff the things your doing are causeing more probloms
everything has to be done a certain way but if its not I get Anxious and the compulsions gets triggered
when im at home for instance the behavior has caused probloms for me
Iv wash my hands over and over and over and over and over and Iv also dryed my hands on a towel over amd over for more than 10 minutes
long enough for my Mum to call me to come down cause iv been upstairs so long.
I dont like it cause I want to spend time more time with my family than up there so that then adds to the anxiety.
most of the time I have to do these repetative actions 5 times and no more than that but there are times I can end up doing another 5 then another 5 after that
even though I dont want to do it its a compulsion I dont want to do but is hard to stop as soon as it comes on
as an example
1 i put something in the cupboard
2 notice its not at a certain angle or placed a certain way
3 become fixated. get the compulsion to take it out and then put it in again the second time
4 second time- this then that raises my Anxiety levels more and I feell panicy
which leads to
5 I feell the compulsion to keep doing the same action again and again and again non stop until I get tired out
this sort of thing can go on for a very long time.
if something stops me half way through then that raises my Anxiety even higher which re inforces and stegthens the compulsion once it finishes I then feell better than I did before I started the compulsion
but if I dont finish then it leads to the compulsion to do it again and again and again and this can go on to be done more than a couple of times
the compulsions is usualy only caused by high levels of anxiety so when im not anxious i dont get the compulsions normaly.
This is a very old thread. (3 to 4 years)
https://community.autism.org.uk/f/miscellaneous-and-chat/21428/strange-compulsions-and-rituals
Maybe you can resurrect it?