Published on 12, July, 2020
Having a really tough time at the moment. Does anyone else feel the desperate need to be busy but then feel overwhelmed when you are busy? Its like catch 22. If Im not busy I get depressed and my head has time to think and go on loops and anxiety but then if Im busy it overwhelms my head and I get poorly mentally anyway.
Dont really know what to do or whether Im coming or going
Having burnout but hate being sat at home all day and need to work both mentally and financially
Any support or advice would be lovely
I'm sorting muddled "fixings" into appropriate groupings (size, nature, use etc).......have been doing so for a while now!
Billy - it's all about balance, in my opinion. If I have a massive burst on my banjo one day, or week, or month [I can keep going if I need to] .... I now realise that there IS a pay-back period.....eventually. I am coming to the opinion that regularity is ideal.....but that this doesn't suit how I work / find work - therefore, I just need to allow myself to be "useless" when I have finished, "doing a thing."
I understand what you mean. Its like during the burst of energy I almost feel "normal" but then once its over and ive done loads of things I feel almost completley debiliated, like even lying on the bed is an effort.
The trouble is that way of working might work for us but it doesnt work for most jobs. Its difficult to explain to a boss why your a super achiever and the dream employee one day and barely able to get out of bed and go to work the next
Yes - bang on! I seem to get away with my "proclivities" on the basis that - when I do "produce" - it is overwhelmingly thorough, and beyond reproach........and therefore, people will wait for me to get my metaphorical mental ducks in a row. I know that this is a privileged position to find myself......but then again, it has taken me half a century of bashing my head against a brick wall, to get myself to this position.
Supply? Better or worse? Unknown quantity in an unfamiliar school, but maybe more time away?
Otherwise it's inflexible, the academic year.
My MO is "go like the clappers then crash". I don't do a more level way of working. I've come to the conclusion I need the momentum behind me to do, then the resting period feels more worthwhile. The trouble is when the resting period is longer than you need - I totally get the "longer periods off work give you time to think".
The desparate need to be busy then get overwhelmed I certainly agree with. It can also be applied to being around people. It's also difficult getting going again once the momentum stops.
Needs Must, brother. I toy with all kinds of ideas as to how I could/should do things differently......but when push-comes-to-shove, I (like you) find myself stuck in this cycle of "needs must." Nonetheless, I don't give up on giving up/dramatically changing.....its just that, thus far, I keep doing what I do - the way I have always done it...........because frankly, its all I have ever known.
Thanks mate. It is indeed. I hate it so much but every time I try to leave it turns out Im not qualifed or seemingly able to do anything else that earns enough to live off and I end up going back to teaching. Right now I am waiting to start a new school in September after swearing last time that I would never go back. Every time I think about starting the job it feels like a train coming the other way. I havnt even been able to bring myself to sign the contract yet
I doff my cap to you sir! I am a natural born teacher......but only when "I'm feeling it." I can teach effectively one-on-one......by letting people watch / work with me......but ONLY when I'm "feeling" it. I'm a temperamental MF !! There is no way that I could face 30 loud/unlikely to be open to learning young people = day-in, day-out. There would be either a) an unsavoury news story regarding me loosing-my-sheet in the national news, or b) a refusal (due to inability/lack of capacity) to work.
Your job is super-hard mate !