Published on 12, July, 2020
I’m not quite sure how to word this, but does anyone else find it hard to have calm discussions with others due to seeing things as more black and white? I often feel really strongly about particular things and ignore the grey area and just get really defensive when someone seems to say anything slightly different to my own opinion. It takes me a while to understand and acknowledge different perspectives. After I’ve taken the (long) time to do so I can clearly see where they’re coming from and will maybe change my own view slightly as well, but it doesn’t necessarily get better the next time the topic comes up and I still react too strongly.
I'm very prone to a "knee jerk" reaction, which can lead me into confrontation. What I've discovered quite recently is that I often need time to process new information to integrate it into my thoughts so I can deal with it calmly. As often as not I'll find that I was right all along <ironic laughter!> It can be a big problem if I don't feel I have space to do this - I think this may have been the cause of meltdowns in my early years. I must find thinking space.
I can relate to this!
I'm learning to step back and try to process things now I'm aware that it's more my autism than my opinion that's having the instant reaction.
I think it also plays into demand avoidance, disagreement could be seen as an expectation to think of something differently, which could be perceived as demand so we react defensively.
In short though I'm finding biting my lip a little is helping, I often regret or disagree with the reaction I had after I've had time to think it through .
Measure twice, cut once!
So true! Works for pretty much every scenario