Published on 12, July, 2020
I’m not quite sure how to word this, but does anyone else find it hard to have calm discussions with others due to seeing things as more black and white? I often feel really strongly about particular things and ignore the grey area and just get really defensive when someone seems to say anything slightly different to my own opinion. It takes me a while to understand and acknowledge different perspectives. After I’ve taken the (long) time to do so I can clearly see where they’re coming from and will maybe change my own view slightly as well, but it doesn’t necessarily get better the next time the topic comes up and I still react too strongly.
Aimée said:does anyone else find it hard to have calm discussions with others due to seeing things as more black and white?
This is quite a common autistic trait and one I had when I was younger.
It was only once I found my work took me round the world and I got to experience other cultures and opinions from the regional office staff that I started to consider my binary thinking was inadequate to accommodate the situaiton I was in.
I found the technique of mindfulness incredibly helpful to shape my opinions in the light of this wider world view and I also learned skills as a manager (negotiating, motivating and critical analysis amongst others) which led me to see the world though the eyes of others - this makes a lot of difference.
There are times when the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few so handling these situations when you have to chose a route that offends one party to avoid many others is a difficult one but hardens you to the reality of the world.
That was a bit of a ramble but I hope my path to overcoming this can show it is not fixed if you are willing to work on it.
Yeah, other cultures, its just about realizing everybody is different. Takin issue with people with different opinions, is just immaturity to me. if you are confident in your own perspective, others people are not enemies to be combated. You move around them, you nod your head, say whatever. you don have to take a black and white crusade attitude to every interaction. Its about being zen, that the world is not something we can control. You can be an ideologue on a sacred mission all you want, but when you bump up against hard reality to quote axel rose: welcome to the jungle baby, you're gonna diiiiie.
Hopefully over time I will learn this more as I do try to be as open minded as I can but sometimes I get stuck in my own bubble for too long.