Published on 12, July, 2020
HiMaybe I only one but I have things read to me many times about autistics doing this and that but not so often the quiet one
I am autistic moderate-severe but also have developmental language disorder and intellectual disability some kind but not that much
I never been shouting, having to do special things to others or so
Often I get asked if I drink, yes I do water and Coke and milk and orange juice but nothing else, then people where I live attack me ask me what alien am I
Also often people not knowing me ask about sex, I never ever had sex and not interested in it
Maybe because I have been raped by male caregivers in nursing home a while back but to be honest I never thought of sex in the thing where a man and women have sex, never ever
I never had a friend or someone to play with because I love play with Lego and my bead maze but my family made me hide who I am my entire life so I did
Yes I might be different than others my "fault list" is long I cannot read and struggle a lot to write lucky to have spell help and word control software and I use my AAC mostly but sometimes I talk a few easy words I know what they mean
As a child I only repeated what other said to me not knowing what it meant I knew my first word when I was 14 years old and that word was "hide" and at 14 my mental age was 4 at 20 my mental age was 7-8 and it has been since then
But still I can do amazing adult things perfectly, I am a very safe driver of cars never ever had a problem with that and I love my garden and grow plants from seed
But go shopping is extremely hard just as hard as dressing myselfI shop for things I had before same size and same colors and if not available I cannot see if packaging changed because I cannot read more than very easy words
Dressing myself takes 15 minutes in morning just put on pants and sweater, I do not like socks at home and never have them
Maybe this makes me the strange outside autistic boy I do not know
When it comes to friends I prefer female since no female has ever hurt me but many men have I have been hit by total strangers on the stress outside shops why I do not know and I have been raped by male staff in hospitals during nights and hit by them too so it is very hard for me with men sadly
Wonder how it would be life to be NT but at the same time I do not want to know because my life is my life and I think it is good for me
But at the moment I have severe kidney problems with both my kidneys that need surgery but I cannot afford it abroad and where I live the will not do it but refuse to tell why they do not want to do it so my time is limited they told me
Had PICA way beyond childhood now not much but it happens
Still I am here and okay anyway
Am I strange?
Here is my list:Autistic moderate- severeDevelopmental language disorderIntellectual disorder17q12 deletion syndromeGlaucomaPartly incontinentKidney severe errorLove to play with and build Lego the best on earthLove warm weather and warm waterLove to play with water and sandLove my stuffed animalsNeed a thing when I do not feel well or am tired but do not want tell hereAm very calm, quietAm I okay anyway?
SebastianASD said:Am I strange? Here is my list:Autistic moderate- severeDevelopmental language disorderIntellectual disorder17q12 deletion syndromeGlaucomaPartly incontinentKidney severe errorLove to play with and build Lego the best on earthLove warm weather and warm waterLove to play with water and sandLove my stuffed animalsNeed a thing when I do not feel well or am tired but do not want tell hereAm very calm, quietAm I okay anyway?
No. you're totally normal
SebastianASD said:As a child I only repeated what other said to me not knowing what it meant I knew my first word when I was 14 years old and that word was "hide" and at 14 my mental age was 4 at 20 my mental age was 7-8 and it has been since then
My mental age?. I look at it like this, cat years, dog years, me years. at 10 i was like a 5 year old . at 14, like a 7 year old, at 22 , a 11 year old, and now at 36, im a totally out of control 18 year old. hopefully by 50, i shall be a super mature 25 year old. IF I LIVE THAT LONG. I HOPE TO GO OUT IN A BLOODY BLAZE OF GLORY FIERY END. but thats just me.
Dear SebastianASD
We are very glad you have joined. You are very welcome here.
Thank you for posting and telling the community about what has happened. We are sorry to hear all you have been through.
The National Autistic Society does not currently operate a crisis or emergency service. We advise you to call the police on 999 or any of the crisis lines listed on our Urgent Help Page if you or anyone else is at risk of immediate harm: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/urgent-help
You can also make a silent 999 call: https://www.police.uk/pu/contact-us/how-to-make-a-silent-999-call/
To report a crime that has already happened or is not an emergency:
Domestic violence or abuse can happen to anyone. Find out how to recognise the signs and where to get help from the NHS Domestic Abuse Helplines: https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/getting-help-for-domestic-violence/
The National Survivors Trust provides a helpline supporting victims and survivors of rape and sexual abuse: https://www.helplines.org/helplines/member-list-detail/?id=recSySJEbuTVdGdk8
You can find your local Victim Support service by searching online for ‘[geographical area/local police force] + ‘victim support’.
We hope this is helpful to you.
Sharon Mod
You are more than okay! You sound great! Being different is a good thing. Imagine how boring the world would be if we were all the same. For a long time, I felt really bad because I have been called weird and made fun of. But I have found people who encourage me to be who I am! I hope you can find your people too!
P.S. I also love my stuffed animals!! ^_^
It sounds like you would be eaten alive where i live. You would need a bodyguard just to survive. Just to walk outside. I run with sharks, man, brutal, and i'm considered soft to them. And i have a long list of FITTING IN doing antisocial things and being a jerk and doing reckless things, yet i'm soft as hell and weird to my peers. But inside, i am very childlike, with typical autistic features.
I think you sound like a very nice person with a lot of insight into who you are. Welcome to the site, it's lovely to meet you and I echo others in sadness for the way you've been treated in life.
Welcome to the community! Your awful experience makes me sad, but I think you also have a beautiful inner world. Everyone is different, especially in our community. You are more than just ok. I’m sorry I would like to write something more but now my head is empty. Just welcome home, I hope you find here some joy and like minded people
Hi Sebastian, It makes me sad to read about what others have done to you. There is nothing wrong with being different. Yes it would be better for you not to have illness but NT people also get illness. I struggle in the NT world as well. Try to really enjoy the things that make you happy & live your best life
We are all different in our own ways, and there is nothing at all wrong about that.
I'm so sorry to hear of the horrible problems that you have had with certain other people.
You seem like a very nice person indeed - much more than okay.