Published on 12, July, 2020
What do you do when somebody says they don't know what autism , is and thinks its just some stupid made-up categorization , and you just need to WORK ON YOURSELF, you know, be more MOTIVATED, and you can CHANGE. You could of course, explain that it's genetic, a neurological condition, like tourrettes for e.g. But to the NT world it seems, in their eyes, you're just BEING AWKWARD AND LAZY. It's pretty much unanimous In NT world. Its your fault you have CRAP SOCIAL SKILLS. And when you point out that instincts, and disposition are different, again, you're just making excuses AND NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH. totally invalidating your point. IS THIS GASLIGHTING?
What I'm saying is, i expect to be misunderstood. But it's very demoralizing, when you explains you have 'ASD' (or just plain autism)' and they give the the WHUH? FACE
I either give them a very bland answer like 'yes dear you think that if it makes you happy'. Or I just walk away and refuse to engage with them any further, it's pretty pointless trying to engage with people like that and they don't/won't/can't learn that other peoples stuff is real, I think they're just narcarsists. You don't need people like that in your life, nobody does, I've been told by people that I only have osteoarthritis because I believe I have and should exercise mind over matter and it will go away if I stop believing in it.
Well, i'm not sure that'd work. its more complicated. As it someone i known for months, not a stranger. I have so much to say, this thread is just maniacal ranting and venting my spleen, I think if its possible to be made emotionally insane from a life time of mental abuse i might be the living embodiment.
It may well be more complicated than just walking away or giving them a bland answer. But if you feel like you're in a game, then don't play, I know it's easier said than done, but it's what you probably need to do in order not to be driven crazy. Once you've learnt to spot games you can chose whether to play or not. Maybe the book, The Games People Play, by Eric Berne, will help you make sense of it all?
I've lived in areas like that too, its hairy fun!
Can you move out and go somewhere else if the place is giving you so much of the heebie jeebies?
Well, i live in England. The Birmingham area. It's very rough and always been a bit of criminal area. I know people, who have all kinds of histories and criminal records One person i'm acquaintance with, says he can get anybody killed, by making a phonecall. And you might think well, this is tall talk. but these are drug dealers and people who delight their past rowdyness , these are people with tatoo tears, or tatoos all over their face and body. Dangerous people. These are not my friends, but they're aquantances. It seems everybody is crooked where i live. That's all i've ever known. I was not born with a silver spoon.
I live with the social consquenses of being female and the expectations, I don't fit most of them. I don't live in a politically correct Disneyland either, nor am I rich or live in a gated community. I live in a village in Wales theres a mix of English incomers and people who's families have been here for generations, then theres the tourists and holiday home owners who treat us like we should be in Disneyland. I know there are consequenses for social missteps, I just chose not to play. It maybe different where you live.