Published on 12, July, 2020
I am feeling burnt out from trying to find other ND people and coming up with nothing. I attended a local ND group but I felt invisible and they could care less I was there or not from my point of view.
I am discouraged from questioning the issues of adulthood and the challenges of neurodivergence everyone would rather tip-toe around like relationships, independence and jobs.
I even tried Bumble but it was dead, and everyone was the same and felt fake so I quit. I'm reluctant to try any other apps.
If things were different I would have had top marks in school, more qualifications, a loving partner and a job that doesn't make me want to top myself.
But I don't. Instead I languish in unemployment, self loathing and loneliness as the days go by and I struggle to find my place in the world.
Instead I languish in unemployment, self loathing and loneliness as the days go by and I struggle to find my place in the world.
This is far from uncommon amongst us.......but there are plenty of old and older folk amongst us here who prove that it IS possible to survive, and in some cases, thrive.
I'm not sure that it is wholly possible to avoid the self loathing (although some seem to report this ability.)
I'm not sure that it is wholly possible to avoid the loneliness (even if you have a loving partner and lots of people "around" you.)
I am certain that you CAN get some form of employment.
I am certain that you CAN find a loving partner.
I am certain that these two things are rarely easy.
Sometimes, I think we can try too hard for the things that we desperately feel the need to have or achieve, whilst allowing time to slip away from our lives.
Sometimes, I think we can subconsciously impose "normie" definitions of these things that you (and most of us) want. For example, a loving partner can be in forms that face ridicule amongst normie folk.......think widely. Similarly, "employment" can start in a form that you never imagined and then evolve into something more tangible.
I think we should try to simply live our lives, as they unfold before us.......and then those things that we want or need have a significantly higher chance of presenting themselves to us?
When I was suffering with the overwhelming sense of "everything you say above".......I had to work REALLY hard just to get up and do ANYTHING!! It was incredibly hard to do. It felt pointless and meaningless. BUT........
Eventually, things did improve, without me really noticing it. Nothing "dramatically" good happened, but I did find myself integrated into the world again - almost via some kind of weird osmosis.
Why do I tell you these things?!...........= because I don't want you to think that it is all just hopeless. It is difficult, but not impossible.