Mind blowing day

I had one the other day. It started off normal enough. I was walking at a very fast pace into the centre of my town and wandering around asking people what the answer is to achieving success. I was saying to them does Mark Labbett from The Chase have it, does Tyson Fury, Einstein, God, and so on and I was insisting for an answer from everyone, the most of whom were quickly scarpering. And I was trying to prove to people I was worth marrying, that I could win a marathon if I wanted through sheer willpower, that I was clever beyond most people's wildest dreams. Eventually three police officers arrived and on the verge of handcuffing me I leaped forward and cried out, "No! No! No!" and they stopped doing it. Then I was in the back of what was either an ambulance or a police van but curiously enough seemed to be a combination of both. There were several people looking down at me wandering what to do with me and I was arguing with them psychically without saying a word, trying to convince them no one has the answer to what life is about. I pulled up images of Tom Cruise (who is obviously very successful - he's attractive, rich, started a religion, physically fit), Vinnie Jones (who is something of a rags to riches character) and then the very universe itself began to argue with me, to try to prove to me life has a meaning. I struggled my way through God, the Hindu Gods, Hitler, the Vikings rowing across to America, the Matrix with all the numbers scrolling through the air, the stars and the sun began to struggle against me and then the officers were thinking to themselves, wow, is he going to make it into whatever infinity is, the final place, and I began to convince them life wasn't worth living and they were saying how do you get out of it then and I began to see myself twisting through a vortex up into the air diagonally holding a Swiss flag. And the police officers or ambulance workers or whoever they were were saying to one another, "Yeah, he's basically figured it out, hasn't he? The best thing to do is just lie down, shrug and die. I was pulling out very convincing arguments as to why there was no point trying to take me to a police station or to have me sectioned. And then the next thing I knew I was on a hospital bed and a doctor was holding a defibrilator above me and I cried out for him not to use it and he didn't. The rest is all a blur but I'm convinced that at least the beginning and the end are true. 

  • It sounds like you went through quite an intense and introspective journey, grappling with existential questions and your own sense of purpose. The mix of cultural references and personal reflections made your experience vivid and thought-provoking.

  • Lucy, short for Lucifer.

    I thought it was short for lucky pants myself. Ah well, you live and learn. Wink

  • Yes Tom Cruise is a very great man. I am Lestat by the way. Have you met Lucy? Lucy int he sky with diamonds, sounds like you might have. Lucy, short for Lucifer.

  • wandering around asking people what the answer is to achieving success.

    Walking up to randoms in the street and trying to have a philosophical discussion is not considered normal behaviour just in case you were not aware. At most you say "hello", "good morning" etc and that can be intrusive if you live in London.

    This possibly explained peoples reaction to you as you were operating well outside the bounds of acceptable behaviour.

    I was trying to prove to people I was worth marrying, that I could win a marathon if I wanted through sheer willpower, that I was clever beyond most people's wildest dreams

    I would be curious to hear why you thought they wanted to know this. Do you think they cared or were you trying to make them care?

    then the very universe itself began to argue with me

    That should have been a cue that you needed to consider seeking help from a mental health expert. I realise in the moment you may not have realised it but reflecting on it can help.

    From the rest of your description is it safe to say you could have been having a bipolar episode? It sounds very similar to some experiences I have been through with bipolar staff in the past and for them they ended up self committing to the psychiatric unit.

    If not I would be interested in your doctor or therapists explanation of this highly unusual event.