Intolerance

The problem isn't how we were brought up, but certain authority figures taking too many liberties.

Rules, nowadays, have little to no worth.

It's as if School made us hardened outlaws, rather than citizens.

It's how they prepared for the lawlessness, to allow the Man of Sin to enter the fray.

Being raised in a traditional Irish Catholic background, in the Catholic Ireland that I grew up in, great importance was placed on the need to be obedient without question to Athority figures, be it priests and nuns, your parents, the local teachers and headmaster, the local Gardai, where children were meant to be “seen and not heard” and if not, the local Gardai, the local doctor and the local Parish Priest was sent for to “come and have a little “talk” to you, with any disobedience being met with corporal punishment of various forms which increased in severity as you got older - and rule breaking was also linked into the concept of it being a sin, which was even worse 

One rule I don't get is having to tell TV licensing I don't have a TV. I don't need to tell the DVLA if I don't have a car, and I don't have to tell RSPCA I don't have a dog, so why for a TV?

Absolutely! I'm glad I'm not the only one who looks at a rule and asks questions of it and the people imposing them. Much of the time I think rules are are just lealised bullying, they just dont' make sense and certainly don't stand up to scrutiny. I would say in defence of parents saying because I said so and other such things, is that you get worn out by small children who are in the "why/" phase of development, this follows shortly after the "whats'that?" phase and given that these small people are as yet unable to understand abstract thinking, you end up stumped when asked, 'How does the world hold everything up without falling over?'

Rules I heard as a child

"Because I said So"

"As long as you are under my roof, my rules"

"You re a girl so you can't do that"

"Girls 'sposed to obey and have babies"

....a longer list can be made available to anyone who has never heard such dizzying cognitive dissonance from the mouths of large overpowering giants who held our small lives and well being in their grasps.

I did a little surreptitious study, when I was a juvenile, to find out the way in which rules are made, being curious about why a rule was a rule at all.

The more I saw how the "sausage" was made, the more I realized that some rules are just a byproduct of lack of imagination and/ or critical thinking, the rule maker being unable to think on an ad hoc basis. Concussion: people use rule making sometimes when they too lazy to think.

And some others are purely meant to empower one group over another's interests in order to dominate them to some financial benefit to themselves. It was but a 200 some odd years ago  that enslaving a person was OK and a rule one could freely use for the above stated purpose.   Another example of a rule, meant to dominate and control, is the new "subscription" based business model for accessing products that had previously been sold outright as copies - like post CS6 adobe products, or one's digital music library, stored on corporate sponsored servers, to which one must pay again to access - or lose access to in lieu.

So I study a rule and think of ways I need see it as OK or not, and if there is even anything I can do about it if not. If I can and it's a selfish or lazy rule I ignore it, or slink past it.

You've made me realise that it's not all rule breaking that does it for me. When I consider that rules are stupid or unhelpful, it doesn't bother me if people break them. But when the rules are for the common good I get very upset when people flout them. I suppose what it comes down to is apparent lack of respect for others that gets me.

I break rules all the time,  especially rules of social interaction, because I'm unaware that they even exist.  So please tolerate me.

I agree with Caelius about many of us having an inate sense of fairness, that does seem to be something of a signifier for autism.

But I'm a bit of a natural anarchist and whilst I dont' see rules as there to be broken or that they don't apply to me, I do question them and some I don't understand at all. I suppose it depends on whether it's a rule or a law, a law is usually there for a reason and there will be consquenses for breaking them, points on the driving licence etc. But some things are just ridiculous and social rules in particular, I neither understand them or really want to, they seem false and inauthentic, people following them seem false and inauthentic, Who and how do I trust when everyone appears to be false and inauthentic and even worse they're playing a game who's rules they don't conciously understand, but expect everyone to understand and play by. There are consequenses to not abiding by these rules too, social isolation and bullying being common ones. I can't be bothered with many of these social niceties and prefer not to have to interact with them.

To many of us with autism, having clearly defined rules obeyed and complied with without question, without exception and without excuse, without protest and without further comment nor objection is something that has been done to (against) us in the past and therefore, some people just don’t like being called out on their hypocrisy and for us, it is a matter of common sense that the rules that they impose on us are the same rules that they themselves must be reasonably expected to follow, on merit, just like everyone else - it also follows that the penalties for breaking these rules, especially by those who hypocritically advocate such compliance with rules on merit need to be at least equally very severe, if not more so - Covid demonstrated this to us in a very real way - for example during Covid, I would have preferred armed police and armed milltary patrolling the streets to have enforced the Covid rules as rigidly and as forcefully as possible, even down to their patrolling the aisles of supermarkets to bark commands at those who were not complying 

Whilst it doesn't cause me to "have a fit", I can't help but confront people when I see rule breaking (even if it is minor). "Road rage" is a good analogy for how I feel in these circumstances too. The confrontations rarely go well (as most people object to have their wrong-doings pointed out to them - especially by someone who does it in blunt and frustrated way), but I can't help myself. This was the worst thing about the COVID-19 lockdown periods for me. Whilst I loved the extra rules for social distancing etc, it brought me into a lot more conflicts with rule breakers. Whilst I don't know if this is a common autistic trait, I definitely attribute this behaviour to my autism.

its a sense of fairness, in abiding by the rules we are all held by the same standard and play by the same rules and treated the same. someone breaks the rules they are putting themselves above others, wanting unfair better treatment, breaking the system of fairness.

i stick to rules myself, i see others break rules but i ignore unless it has a effect on me or unless the rule breaker ever kicks off over anything and wants judgement and i come in to set it straight in my rule based unbiased neutral way. to which then they think im against them and kick off, but im not im just dictating rules to set out who was right or wrong in it without having a opinion on whatever spat they have with others.

like a group in my flats were whining and complaining all the time, very enttitled people, they had the sillyness to make it splash onto me and brought me into it so i gave them judgement based on rules and listed a whole list of rules they are breaking such as the nio smoking in the building rule, the fact the thing they was smoking was drugs which is illegal, the fact they make disturbance after hours which is against rules and law. while all their complaints against others were not backed by any rule or law, they just didnt like the cleaner for some reason lol so they had no basis of complaint while they was themselves in breach of laws and rules, so complaining about others with nothing against them but yet their own foundation themselves is of themselves breaking rules. so by neutrality i judged against them and they didnt like it. but i dont do that to take a side, i neutrally judge by the rules and laws.