Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
I'm in my late 50s - have just had a diagnosis of autism confirmed.
Certainly, as an adult I'm very structured and have fixed routines (prefer to do the same thing each day, eat the same thing for days on end, really struggle with social anxiety which I think manage with 'scripting' but a lot of this has become second nature, I have a couple of artistic interests which I get very focused on to the exclusion of other things). I think I might be alexithymic in that I have a very poor sense of what my own emotional state is, but I'm pretty good at reading other people's states.
While the diagnosis has led me to a few "oh of course" moments, it's also been really confusing since as a child I don't think I exhibited any of the signs that are associated with autism. Similarly, I can make eye contact with people and feel as though I'm pretty empathetic and know what to do in social situations.
All of this has got me doubting my diagnosis and wondering if I'm autistic at all? In fact, rather than giving me answers I feel a bit like my identity up to now has been taken away?
Any advice in dealing with this would be really appreciated.
I was diagnosed in my late 40s. I have learned to do the eye contact etc. since childhood, and am very empathetic (often too much).
I think people of our generation still have a vision of Autism as "Rain Man" and it is why we did not consider it until more advanceed age. We did not fit the incredibly wring stereotype.
I do think it explains an awful lot of difficulties I have had in my life, and certainly issues I had as a child / teen.