Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi guys this is my first time posting. I got diagnosed about a month ago after a 2 year process. I’m very happy with my diagnosis, I feel less lonely and more content with myself which is nice. However the past few months I’ve been feeling terrible mentally. I can’t sleep (been a problem all my life but sometimes is worse than others) and when I do sleep, that’s all I want to do all day. I don’t want to leave the house, I just want to disappear and be alone. Thought about taking a vow of silence which seems ridiculous haha but was a thought nonetheless! I work part time in retail, which is arguably the worst job for me. I have social anxiety disorder and bpd, and having to work with customers is hell for me. Especially when daily there is rude and aggressive people in our store. When I go in I usually have to be on the till for around 4 solid hours which is exhausting. I’ve had a few sick days lately so I can stay in bed and not have to talk to people. I feel super depressed and was thinking about taking a month off to recover and get back in a good headspace. I’m not sure how accommodating my work will be with this, and I am very worried about what my partner will think. She’s the nicest most supportive human ever, especially with my diagnosis. But any time I take off work I always feel so guilty and like I am the worst person in the world because I can’t function like a normal person. I feel like a waste of a human, because it’s such a simple thing to be working part time and a lot of people would kill for that. Do you guys ever get burnout and take time off work for it? How have your employers been about it? Is there anything you do that makes you feel less like a fraud?
Burnout isn't much fun at all, it can also last a long while.
It's what lead me to getting diagnosed in the end, as I had a really bad one. Can end up Paranoid, fatigued, totally depressed, having weird thoughts, it's awful.
Best bet is to do what others have said, take it easy as much as you can, rest and listen to your own needs and take care of yourself.
If you have any spins, spend some time on those, it helps recharge the positive thoughts.
Don't pressure yourself too much and also, try not to go too much into isolation as it doesn't always help.
Walks out in nature in quiet places help me when I'm really bad, with the dog for company, usually in the dark so there's less for my senses to deal with.
I took always feel guilty, so I try to hide it from my wife and act normal to avoid the impact on her, but talking to her about it usually helps to be fair.
Hope you feel better soon!