Post Diagnosis Support?

I can understand your feelings. I was just diagnosed myself by a psychologist and in one way I can see why I struggled all my life and in another way, I feel completely turned upside down and don't know what to do with it. Does my diagnosis mean I am weird and alienated and that my struggles will never improve? Does it mean I can't apply for certain jobs? And some autistic traits don't seem to apply to me so is my diagnosis even accurate? I feel like I don't know how to "act" now. Maybe I have been masking all my life and didn't know it and now that I am diagnosed I don't have to mask so now I don't know what to do. I did disclose my diagnosis to my sisters and husband and they had already suspected I was autistic and never said anything. I was shocked. The psychologist told me to disclose to my current workplace, but I feel really uncomfortable doing that. My main issue for going to a psychologist was because I have panic attacks and the latest one was bad so I thought I will go for therapy. It is very expensive, but I thought it will help me. After our first consultatoin, she said she wanted to do some pyschological assessments. Thats how I found out. All my life, I have had major trouble fitting in. People like me but are not friends. I am routinely left out. I ask to hangout with someone I  meet at work or in a group, and they turn me down over and over . Or we do hang out and then they don't want to again. So I do not know why I am so 'rejected" or left out over and over again. Autism fits this. It explains it. So I feel more understanding about myself, but now what? They psychologist told me to join a support group with autistic adults who were diagnosed later in life. So that is why I am joining here. But to tell you the truth, I am scared that I won't fit in here either.  So this is how my diagnosis has turned me upside down. 

NAS94852 said:

The psychologist told me to disclose to my current workplace, but I feel really uncomfortable doing that.

There is no requirement for you to do this unless you having a meltdown would put people at risk in some way in which case I would get some professional advice on whether to do this or not.

If work is not very friendly to autists then keeping quiet is a good survival technique but if you think getting them to make some minor changes (eg allowing you to wear noise cancelling headphones or changing the lighting so it doesn't give you a headache) then you may want to tell them and ask for these changes under the requirement called "reasonable adjustments" which they have an obligation to try to meet if practical.

NAS94852 said:

I have panic attacks and the latest one was bad so I thought I will go for therapy. It is very expensive,

Anxiety is the root cause of panic attacks and something most of us have struggles with. There is one book I can recommend if you are good with self help:

Asperger Syndrome and Anxiety - A Guide to Successful Stress Management - Nick Dubin (2009)
ISBN 9781843108955

As for therapy, the rates I'm seeing are about £45-90/hour for a certified psychotherapist in the UK. There are load to choose from if you use: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/counselling  For reference I pay £60/hour.

chose your location, click on the FILTER box and select autism and any other issues you have and it will give you a list of therapists who meet the criteria. I would advise looking at their qualifications, expertise and experience to see if they seem professional enough then book a trial session with any that "feel" better than the others to you.

NAS94852 said:

I do not know why I am so 'rejected" or left out over and over again

This lack of social know-how is a common autistic trait and stems from the way our brains developed differently to our neurotypical peers - they found their sensory filters became more selective and this allowed them a different focus on things that we struggled to achieve - we tend to get swamped by inputs.

This allowed them to pick up on social cues better, "get" one another and got a lot more practice with the social interactions than us, not helped by our preference for our own company most of the time.

If it really bugs you then you can learn the skills - it means you have to work harder at catching what is going on but lets you mask effectively and blend in when needed - useful for a lot of situations if you need to fit it. A good guide for this is the book:

The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships - Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspectives of Autism - Temple Grandin, Sean Barron (2005)
ISBN: 9781941765388

I think I've covered most of what you talked about here - you will inevitably have lots of questions and other things to talk about so fire away and you will get responses from the community here.

You see, you have found your people at last!

NAS94852 said:

The psychologist told me to disclose to my current workplace, but I feel really uncomfortable doing that.

There is no requirement for you to do this unless you having a meltdown would put people at risk in some way in which case I would get some professional advice on whether to do this or not.

If work is not very friendly to autists then keeping quiet is a good survival technique but if you think getting them to make some minor changes (eg allowing you to wear noise cancelling headphones or changing the lighting so it doesn't give you a headache) then you may want to tell them and ask for these changes under the requirement called "reasonable adjustments" which they have an obligation to try to meet if practical.

NAS94852 said:

I have panic attacks and the latest one was bad so I thought I will go for therapy. It is very expensive,

Anxiety is the root cause of panic attacks and something most of us have struggles with. There is one book I can recommend if you are good with self help:

Asperger Syndrome and Anxiety - A Guide to Successful Stress Management - Nick Dubin (2009)
ISBN 9781843108955

As for therapy, the rates I'm seeing are about £45-90/hour for a certified psychotherapist in the UK. There are load to choose from if you use: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/counselling  For reference I pay £60/hour.

chose your location, click on the FILTER box and select autism and any other issues you have and it will give you a list of therapists who meet the criteria. I would advise looking at their qualifications, expertise and experience to see if they seem professional enough then book a trial session with any that "feel" better than the others to you.

NAS94852 said:

I do not know why I am so 'rejected" or left out over and over again

This lack of social know-how is a common autistic trait and stems from the way our brains developed differently to our neurotypical peers - they found their sensory filters became more selective and this allowed them a different focus on things that we struggled to achieve - we tend to get swamped by inputs.

This allowed them to pick up on social cues better, "get" one another and got a lot more practice with the social interactions than us, not helped by our preference for our own company most of the time.

If it really bugs you then you can learn the skills - it means you have to work harder at catching what is going on but lets you mask effectively and blend in when needed - useful for a lot of situations if you need to fit it. A good guide for this is the book:

The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships - Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspectives of Autism - Temple Grandin, Sean Barron (2005)
ISBN: 9781941765388

I think I've covered most of what you talked about here - you will inevitably have lots of questions and other things to talk about so fire away and you will get responses from the community here.

You see, you have found your people at last!