Published on 12, July, 2020
Recently I had a conversation with my sister, our topic wandered somehow on the mental health conditions. She said something that shocked me so I decided I have to correct her. She said, that autistic people don’t have any need to connect to anyone. I told her, it’s not true. There is another disorder that apparently makes people not desire to form relationships, it’s called schozoid personality disorder, but autistic people do need to connect, but often have no capacity and struggle socially. Autists also may and often feel lonely. She was shocked, she asked me where I know this from. Then I told her, that according to my last therapist I myself am autistic. She was shocked, she said no way! “You can’t be autistic because autistic people don’t have friends or maximum one friend!” Then I started laughing and I asked her if she knows how many friends do I have. There was silence and she finally answered - one! Of course you can be autistic and have some more friends, especially if they themselves are autistic. And not everyone who has only one friend or no friends is automatically autistic for only this reason. She also mentioned that 10 years ago I was at a party, it was organised by the company I worked. And I enjoyed it because it was outdoors and there were activities such as bowling and table tennis, not only beer and sitting and chatting. According to my sister if I was autistic, I wouldn’t be able to go there. So my whole life I heard “you weirdo, go to some party, meet some people, make some friends, stop sitting alone” but when I actually went to some party, I hear that I can’t be autistic because I went there. It’s also fascinating phenomenon, that when I got diagnosed (misdiagnosed) with Tourette, everyone happily agreed that I have Tourette and I was forced awful meds, and I couldn’t get rid of being told I have Tourette even when it was proven to be wrong. Same with depression. But autism?! No no! You can’t be autistic! I’m interested if anyone else heard similar answer from their family. You can’t be autistic because you are too intelligent for example etc. Initially it was my message to other user of this forum, but I decided to make it a post.
It's truly sad when misconceptions and stereotypes about autism lead to misunderstandings and disbelief, even among our own family members.
Your experience highlights the importance of raising awareness and understanding about ASD as so many people view ASD this way. It's not about intelligence or the number of friends someone has—it's about the unique ways in which individuals on the spectrum experience the world and navigate social interactions. Your journey of self-discovery and your willingness to challenge these misconceptions are so inspiring. I've heard similar things from my own family, my step mum for instance doesn't really believe in ASD, she thinks because I can go out and sometimes talk. But she doesn't understand, she doesn't see how these things affect me. If she could spend a minute in my mind she would understand.
I'm so sorry to read that you were treated for something you didn't have. Thankfully this hasn't happened to me personally but I've read that a lot of autistic people are misdiagnosed. So sad. Hopefully the more awareness raised and the better understood ASD becomes hopefully the misdiagnosis's will occur less.
Thank you for sharing your story—it's a powerful reminder of the need for empathy and education with ASD.