Just got my autism results

Welcome to the community! And congratulations! It’s probably hard (I don’t have such experience because I don’t have official diagnosis) but at least you got answers to some questions. 

Here's another I've seen that's pretty good too https://reframingautism.org.au/service/welcome-pack/

Thanks for sharing those links, I was aware of neither and am now into both, cheers

Congratulations on diagnosis, you now have some of the answers you've needed, may not feel like it now but it's hugely positive. That odd feeling of negative is pretty normal, don't worry about feeling unexpected grief and negativity about diagnosis.

Most people on here will have been the same in some way or another. It's a moment where you find out that you can't ever be that thing you hoped to be, what we all for some time perceive as "normal". Now, over time you'll realise there really isn't a normal to aspire to. We're all different, some more than other, which is why "neuro typical" is used to describe the "average" or "typical" person, which is a fairly thin slice of the population! 

Now you know you are autistic and that's how you differ, it's  the time to look at all the materials out there , soak them up and relate to them, understand your differences and find ways to be kinder to yourself and get through life without as many issues.

No rush, take your time, it's a journey and you just started the first steps. You'll probably find yourself flipping around between a lot of different emotions over the coming weeks, it's perfectly normal. It will all be ok.

Your response is normal, I definitely felt the same way when I was diagnosed. And sometimes I still struggle with it 10 months on. There’s a term “imposter syndrome”, which best describes how you’re feeling right now, and is common especially in late diagnosed adults. In a nutshell, it’s where autistic individuals doubt their autism diagnosis, feeling like they are "faking" their symptoms or not "autistic enough" to be valid. This can stem from stereotypes about autism, comparing yourself to others on the spectrum, or feedback from people who question the diagnosis.

I get the feeling of being scared and feeling ungrateful. You’re absolutely not ungrateful, you’re looking to better understand yourself and are struggling with being told you’re autistic. That’s not being ungrateful. It is scary being diagnosed, you’ve been chucked in the deep end and now you have to figure it out for yourself. It will get easier and you will become more accepting to it, and you’ll learn ways to start to unmask and feel more comfortable in this world.

My advice is also to be around other autistic adults, whether on this community or local groups/clubs, to learn from other autistic people. I have recently been attending group sessions as part of my mental health treatment, and some of the other clients are autistic (about 4 others out of the 15 there), and I’ve learnt so much from them and they’ve help me validate that I’m autistic and my diagnosis was correct. 

Here is something that you might find helpful: https://embrace-autism.com/introducing-autistic-impostor-syndrome/

This video from YouTuber Orion Kelly explains it well too: https://youtu.be/QsYGhE4f06A?si=cdriO3Xg0jPF83Co 

Welcome to the community 

Your reaction is normal for you. There's no right or wrong reaction with this. I remember after I was told I was autistic I just froze and stared at the wall for about ten minutes...weird reaction but I think it was just the shock and also realisation that at last, I knew who I was. 

It's a lot to take in all at once. A lot of processing required, but you'll get there. Take it one day, one step at a time. You've got this my friend. :) 

Oh, and welcome to the autistic club. Coolest club in the world. 

Hoping you will grow into it and realize what a great pair of shoes! Finally a pair of shoes that don't pinch!