Do you hate people?

Hi there, I'm not sure how to start this post.

I feel that I have become pessimistic when it comes to people. For context, I am an autistic woman in her early 20's; I have unfortunately had poor experiences in my life where I've been ostracised/bullied in secondary school and also verbally abused/gaslit by extended family. I've also had bad experiences with friendships where people always used me and took advantage of my kind-hearted nature. Because of these experiences, I have come to hate most people as I feel that the majority have ulterior motives and only want to befriend you or be in a relationship so they can take advantage of you.

One thing that kind of helps is I do have quality friends in my life (some of which are autistic) who accept me as I am, the same applies to my parents/aunt. I recently met an Italian guy online via Instagram; for context he follows my YouTube channel and Instagram account where I post art and gaming related stuff - he is also into gaming like myself and has the same socials/Twitch acc. When I talk to him, I feel a nice warmth inside because he understands me and he does show signs of autism/possible ADHD. 

I feel that it is very hard to trust people nowadays and I often guard myself and don't talk about certain things like my mental health, I am used to faking that everything is OK so nobody judges me.

Parents
  • I am used to faking that everything is OK so nobody judges me.

    It is a really useful life skill to learn to stop caring about what other people think.

    With your close family and friends then it is ok to care but for aquantancies and the general public - stop caring. Save that energy for those that really matter in your life and you will find a real shift in how much energy you have.

    That's my opinion anyway.

  • What Iain said, although I do think it's easier when you're older to ignore people, I try and friendly to everyone and friends with very few, there are a few people who I dislike enough that I wouldn't give the steam off my pee!

Reply
  • What Iain said, although I do think it's easier when you're older to ignore people, I try and friendly to everyone and friends with very few, there are a few people who I dislike enough that I wouldn't give the steam off my pee!

Children