choosing to remaining childless

I am childless, and at 54 that discussion is over anyway. I knew from a very early age I didn't want kids. Kids bullied me, they were not nice to me, I much pefered the company of adults. I was a only child and very selfish. Sice being diagnosed in the last few years I can now see why kids would never have worked for me.. I love being alone, despite being with my wife for 20 years, we both have hobbies that give us time alone. I can barely cope with being me without having to devote my life to a kid, I have no idea how people do it.

I am childless, and at 54 that discussion is over anyway. I knew from a very early age I didn't want kids. Kids bullied me, they were not nice to me, I much pefered the company of adults. I was a only child and very selfish. Sice being diagnosed in the last few years I can now see why kids would never have worked for me.. I love being alone, despite being with my wife for 20 years, we both have hobbies that give us time alone. I can barely cope with being me without having to devote my life to a kid, I have no idea how people do it.

This is very much how I have felt. I do like to play with children now though, as peers - well some children.

Before I went through 5 years of therapy, though, I too was terrified of  children. Interesting, I had not thought of that in some time, thanks. This is a subject I think about since I read about this new "Natalist" movement - of which I feel a dark, visceral foreboding.