choosing to remaining childless

I am also choosing to remain child free. I had an unwanted pregnancy and did not let it go to term. I have no desire to have any as I value my freedom and independence too much. I deplore the fact that there is so much pressure on women to bear children, as that is apparently their only purpose in life. 

I've always thought about being childfree myself, even from young before I got diagnosed with ASD.

I quite like spending time with under 5's, they have such a fantstic world view, so literal and the stuff they come out with cracks me up with laughter. I dont' miss squashed banana in my hair or screaming fits though.

I just move on. in hindsight, surely, I have, myself, dished out a fair share of brutish balderdash.

All and every one can be exactly who they are: warts 'n all. Fills in the colors in the coloring book of life.

If you like being around children.. is there a place near where you are for autistic children or children in a setting where you could have exchanges with them and enjoy time together, maybe work there, if you can work? A thought.

I used to teach prepubescents and loved it. I made sure I got my 6 hours a day to myself that I really need by living in walking distance to the school. It was a language academy. I got over my fear of children this way too.

I've always wanted children but it would be impossible for me to look after a child as I can scarcely look after myself. It's a shame because being a mum is something I've always longed for...there's still time I'm only 21 but I made this decision when I was at school and I won't change my mind. I'm not bringing a child in to this world only to ruin their life. 

I think what you have chosen makes a lot of sense. I would love children but there's no way I could ever ever cope looking after a child, it wouldn't be fair on me or the child.

Though therapy has been wholly useless for me, being prior to diagnosis, the one positive takeaway I have was reframing the word selfish to not be so bad.

It was the times we came up in. Luckily, resistance was not fertile, I mean futile (tee hee). 

That’s awful and dumb of the one who called you this way. I always say: one wants children and can afford having them, is able to look after them? Great! Then have them and enjoy but telling others what they should do, how they should live is bad. There are quite many people who became parents because someone told them so and they conform. And then can’t cope and regret but there is no way back.

For me as well. This new 'Natalist' movement is sparking an interest in me to find out. My child bearing years were spent among other artists and creatives who rarely had children. Most of us have remained so.

I had been called "selfish" once or twice for for being childless.

This is very much how I have felt. I do like to play with children now though, as peers - well some children.

Before I went through 5 years of therapy, though, I too was terrified of  children. Interesting, I had not thought of that in some time, thanks. This is a subject I think about since I read about this new "Natalist" movement - of which I feel a dark, visceral foreboding.

I have two, now grown up children, I had them very young, 1 planed and the other unplaned. I don't regret having them, in my case I was discouraged from having them as I was so young. I think whatever you do as a woman someone will criticise you for it, you're either to young, to old, with the wrong man, with the right man, not in a good financial place and heaven forbid if you dont 't want any.

I respect peoples choices about children and feel for those who desperately want them and can't have them. I think there's to much pressure on women over what we do with our bodies, if we don't want children, why should we have to have them? It's not like hunderds of years ago when the choice was marriage and children or a nunnery. People rarely ever think of the lives of those who have children they don't want, what it's like for everybody, Mother, children and wider family.

Everybody has loads of reasons why a woman shouldn't have children, but I've never heard a good argument for having them, when is the right time? Being married, reasonably financially secure and in your thirties, isn't really an answer, it's a statement

I am childless, and at 54 that discussion is over anyway. I knew from a very early age I didn't want kids. Kids bullied me, they were not nice to me, I much pefered the company of adults. I was a only child and very selfish. Sice being diagnosed in the last few years I can now see why kids would never have worked for me.. I love being alone, despite being with my wife for 20 years, we both have hobbies that give us time alone. I can barely cope with being me without having to devote my life to a kid, I have no idea how people do it.

Talking in general not personal terms, the default setting is that humans will have children and this is more so the case for women. Because it's the default setting, any deviation from this means that the person (woman) has to explain why, defend themselves, and is the one who has to compromise.

I have the same reasons as you have for remaining childless Uhane, except I just thought it was just me, and I never would have guessed that other people felt the same way as I do. What an eye opener. 

Though I am occasionally hit with the feeling that I am somewhat obligated as a human which I'm working through 

Child free and plan to keep it that way. I find myself enough of a task and I've got interests which envelope me for weeks at a time. 

I very much like them. Unless they are sugared up and shrill. I can be with them for an hour or so and enjoy myself with them but then I'm ready to leave them with who ever is minding them. I enjoy especially if the other adults are not helicopter-ing the exchange.

I like them as peers, as company and some fun. I especially enjoy autistic children and love to play along side or with them.We grok each other. Again I'm good for about an hour and need to fold in the shudders after an hour or so.

I just don't like children in general.  I avoid them and leave them to people better suited to care for them.