Advice on supporting partner

1. K here's what you do...firstly understand that often times autistic people (and my son 24 and is autistic so yes I do know) have meltdown ie throw stuff etc. . Yes it can get scary for you if youre in the vicinity of whatever object is thrown. It's a delicate ballance of being able to stay safe yourself and help him be safe...they meltdown often as they're simply overtired or are burnt out ..its no mystery just think how you'd feel if you hadn't had any sleep or your mind and body were working on overdrive and then another problem is piled on top of you. So firstly understand that his reserves of energy for coping in this situation may not be available...so your friend can't help what they're doing and also note that they're not being "difficult " or "selfish" I say this as  a lot of people don't get it and just think the person is being difficult..no they're not being difficult they just don't have the tools that you and and i take for granted on being able to deal with things and did you also know that there stress lobes in the brain are much bigger than some1 neurotypical ie what seems easy for you is not for them. Anyway so back to being safe...if you feel you can't handle it and things are getting too dangerous then yes call police and or an ambulance etc.However if you feel it's within  your capability based on knowing that person and past situation then deal with in a calm manner ...if you can be in the same room just sit quite and wait for the meltdown to end don't talk or do anything..or if you've had to leave the space stay near by where you can listen and keep close tabs on them and then return to the same space as them when situation has calmed down. Ask if they need space..if they do give it...ask simply do they  want to talk and  if so do do this but suggest that you talk about it the next day ir at a slightly later date when they ready to talk or literally just wait for them to come to you to talk as it gives them time to process. You need to keep a very relaxed environment and try yourself to keep anything you're worrying about to yourself ie go talk to a friend to off load as you need to stay strong calm ie don't further burden your friend. I know what I'm talking.about as have to deal with this with my son regularly..incidentally did you know as some1 pointed out on here the other day that when a meltdown occur ay home it's because they feel safe enuf to express that and safe enuf with you..and also they're expressing what has built up ie there true feelings ie they're not masking by masking I mean that sometimes autistic people will learn to show a false self ie one that fits to the standard of others ie showing a face that says oh I'm fine say when they at work which they're not and how they really feeling come out in meltdown at home...but be glad as it's worse say if you're friend was masking not just at work but at home as well..if your friend is honest like this you know where you are and if they say to you later that they're OK chances are they are

Really appreciate this, it helps a lot to hear from someone who has been in a similar boat x

Really appreciate this, it helps a lot to hear from someone who has been in a similar boat x